Mark, Ashley, Serenity, Makinna.

Sweet pictures I took on Wednesday.

Again.

My dad is back in the hospital again. This time for a heart attack. It never really crossed my mind that he could have any heart trouble, mostly because we’re always so worried about his lungs. The doctors never caught anything either, but I guess we all should have known. Grandpa Koch and Uncle Galen both died of heart attacks.

They cleared 5 blockages, 4 at 80% and the last at 99% blocked. Luckily, they got them all cleared and put in 3 stints. He has to stay until Monday though. Scary stuff.

6-28-09

So after graduation and many trips out to Tim’s farm, our family agreed a few weeks ago that we are going to make a point to get together at least once a month.  Today was the day for June, and we had a good time.  Here are a few shots of the family/kidlets.  It certainly isn’t all of them, but I didn’t want to put a million pictures here.

Mom and my brother, Donnie.

Makinna’s crazy butt.

Caleb, spinning (fast!) on the tire swing.  He was hilarious.

I love this picture of Kendall.

Kendall and Caleb.

bliss, with a better flavor.

It took me a long time to actually become addicted to Starbuck’s.  I occasionally would buy a Frappuccino from the machines at the library to keep myself awake enough to get studying done.  Honestly, I always thought that people who frequented Starbuck’s shops were slightly pretentious, and I didn’t want to be in any way associated with them.  

Recently, though, I heard about a Frap that I wanted to try.  Strawberries and Cream with a shot of toffee nut.  And now I know why people love Starbuck’s.  If you find the right flavor for you, it’s like having heaven in your mouth.

I’ve been there 3 times this week, and I can’t get enough!  Yesterday, I even drank half of my Frap, then froze the rest of it and ate it later with a spoon.  

This could definitely become a problem.

getting crafty–again.

It’s been one of those weeks again, where I have time to slack off and do fun stuff. I found a pattern for library card envelopes and slips, which I love, from Ez over at Creative Comforts. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a reader and appreciate libraries very much. They’re one of my favorites places after all. I made about 6 of these in different colors. My favorite are just the plain brown ones, which look like cardboard to me.

I used one in my art journal. Excuse the messy desk!

And then made a note card to send. I just glued it to a folded piece of white cardstock basically. The penguin stamp just adds that personality I love. Simple and quirky.

There are other printable pdf freebies at Creative Comforts, and they are all so adorable. I haven’t had time to fully investigate them, but that is on my to-do list soon!

I leave for Denver in just 8 days, and I am hoping to find some inspiration there for things. I don’t even know what kinds of things, but I guess they’ll just come to me. I probably won’t be online much, if at all, during my stay there, but I’ll be updating my Twitter regularly. Look for me here.

Love, love, love!

joy.

I thought I couldn’t possibly allow myself to love any more people than I already do, but on June 19, I proved myself wrong. This little guy, Dayton Riley O., was born to Lindsay (my niece) and Todd. 6lb 12oz and 21 inches long.

He is perfect. He doesn’t fuss that much (yet), and he smiles and smirks in his sleep.

Do I have baby fever? Absolutely.

big bad carrie?

I’m not a mean person. I think that anyone who reads this blog probably knows that. If anything, I am too sensitive and emotional. But mean is just not an adjective that people regularly use for me.

Last night, though, may have changed that in some people’s minds, and honestly I don’t care. There are certain things that I am very stubborn about, and one of them is being carried up and down stairs. I don’t like it. It’s no secret. A few stairs is doable, 50 stairs. 50 stairs? No. HELL no. I don’t care if I only weigh 105 and can be carried easily or whatever.

I went to Nicol and Bobby’s wedding reception, knowing that I’d only be staying for a few minutes because the party was on the third floor of the venue. I just wanted to stop in, say hi and congratulations, and leave. I have known these people–and most of the guests–since early childhood, but still, I wouldn’t consider them my closest group of friends. In fact, I probably get along with them the least because I have known them for so long. I know all the things that annoy me about them.

Well, anyway, around 15-20 guys were all trying to convince me to get carried up these 2 flights of carpeted stairs. I knew it wasn’t going to happen, and the more they asked, the madder I became. Finally, I had to get snappy and tell them that they were pissing me off. I used more choice words and definitely a mean tone, but I got the point across. I just don’t like being asked again and again the same thing because somehow they are convinced I’ll change my mind. No, it wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t going to be stranded on the third floor of this bar while everyone who carried me up was getting too drunk to carry me back down. I’m paralyzed, not dumb. Plus, stairs just scare me–obviously a part of my control issue.

Finally, Darcy came down and rescued me from the morons. I know the guys all think I was being a bitch, and it doesn’t matter to me what they think. They aren’t in my position.

I don’t like not being listened to. I know they were just trying to convince me to come up and have a good time too, but when I said no after about the 20th time, you would think they could catch the drift that I wasn’t budging on the issue.

Also, I’ve been in the process, I’ve realized, where I notice my friends I thought were so great really aren’t so great after all. I could give you a list of people I now see full of selfishness, but the list of people who don’t have that is much shorter. It’s a little sad to see people I once cared about show their true colors and lose my respect.

I think I am retreating again, into my hermit stage, and just going to stay home on my weekends or hang out with Maria, the one person who i have learned I can truly count on for everything. And at least she knows I’m not mean.

:)

Pit of happiness.

Gage Park, Rose Garden, June 12, 2009

Those moments in the day
when everything slows down
and the sunshine can settle
on the freckles in my cheeks,
normally hidden.
When the troubles dull themselves
and, really, nothing is important.

Those moments are my favorite.
They are the ones when I feel most alive.

no rhyming required.

There are only a handful of people that I can say have influenced me as a writer, many of them accomplished writers themselves, most of them I’ve never met or known beside the words in their books. But one person I can credit with boosting my creative writing confidence would be Amy Fleury. As my first college creative writing professor, and shortly after, my poetry professor, I gained so much knowledge and direction from her. I pulled her book, Beautiful Trouble, from my shelf today and knew right away that her words would again give me something to be inspired with.

I love that feeling. Sometimes I wonder how people go through life without it. Or if maybe they have it by doing something else. Maybe everyone has their thing, their outlet.

Mine just goes on paper.

stench!

I love my brothers dearly. And their fishing habit too.

But their shad? No. Way.

Anyone who has not smelled shad during their time on this Earth is a lucky sonuvabitch. I’m outside right now, trying to soak up some rays (and color!) before tonight, but the wind keeps carrying me the awful smell from the bucket sitting near the garage.

I am rethinking this fishing trip to Tim’s pond now. If the bait all smells like that, I can do without!

itch.

I really have no idea what it is about this time of year, but there’s something in the air that just makes everyone so aggravating to me. No kidding. I’m at that point where staying home, staying away from a majority of the people that I know is sounding like the best plan. Summer makes people stupid, especially in how they act and what they say. I love summer, except for that.

Colorado couldn’t come soon enough.

Twitter-oonis.

Here’s how you can find me on Twitter.

http://www.twitter.com/carriekoch

Fork in the road.

I went today to the bookstore and spent half an hour looking at GRE books, deciding which would be best to help me prepare. Graduate school was never something that seriously crossed my mind until the day of graduation. Of course, it had been discussed with my parents, but only minimally, and never was a path that I seriously saw myself taking. More school? I mean, yeah right. I spent five years completing my undergrad degree and wanted no part of another institution that required commitment of that kind.

Now I’m probably 75% sure that graduate school is definitely where I’ll be sometime in the next five years.  Not only do I think that I better do it sooner rather than later, but I just don’t want to go into some everyday routine yet. I like freedom and flexibility, and a schedule that is 8 to 5 just isn’t for me…yet.

Just when I think I have it was figured out and ready to go, I change it up. Just like me to do that, I suppose.

beginning of summer.

Some weekends just reenforce the fact that I have the best friends a girl could ask for. We didn’t really expect to do anything spectacular, but then Maria’s brother, Donnie, and his new wife, Danielle, came from Fort Riley. So of course we made a party out of it. A big group of us closed down Skinny’s and then went to Benny’s house. I know that it’s summertime when parties don’t end until the sun is coming up.

Maria and I, May 23, 2009 (I look like crap when I drink.)

The past few weeks have been fantastic. I can’t even tell you how much I missed Maria for the past 7 years that she has not lived in Topeka. We were such good friends before, practically inseparable for our entire sophomore year of high school and the summer after. And it’s the exact same now. We have so much fun again. It’s like she never left at all. My mom says we are trouble together….but we like to get into a little bit of trouble. Trouble like this….

Ronnie’s car

Don’t worry. Ronnie wasn’t mad. He said he actually laughed when he came outside the next morning. Then he went across the street and wrote “Payback” on Benny’s truck because he thought Benny did it!

testing

I am figuring out finally how to successfully scan written words and make them look okay for web. I’m excited.

Pretty cool, eh?

Done!

Graduation is over. Finally! It went really well, and the entire day was full of smiles and relief. I haven’t yet uploaded any pictures because I am just lazy about doing that. I do have one that Shalyn took though.

Corey, Lana and I

I really wish we could have been seated with our individual departments instead of alphabetically. It would have been much more fun and comfortable for everyone, I think.

The party at Tim and Sandra’s was really fun. I think a few people were apprehensive when they found out that we’d be having it at a farm, but it turned out really well. The goats go out of their corral and were chasing the kids who had cake, which was hilarious. Then some of the kids decided to try to chase and catch the chickens, which was even more hilarious. If you’ve never had the chance to see someone chase a chicken, you’d be surprised at how fast they are. I was cracking up. Mark rode the cow–and got bucked off twice. I think everyone enjoyed themselves.

I’ll post pictures when I decide to upload some.

little update.

Court went just as I thought it would. No problems at all. Little Miss Serenity is officially a Koch. And ornery as ever.

A bit of everything.

Last night’s Grey’s Anatomy was so…..what’s the word…..awful? If there is an awful-as-in-amazingly-good, then yes, it was awful. I had expected Izzy to die from her brain tumor, so for me that was not a huge surprise. But George?? How could they get rid of my George? I suppose that if he were going to die on the show, being hit by a bus to save a woman is probably the most George way to go. It was one the saddest episodes, and I still can’t stop thinking about it this morning. How did I get so attached to these characters anyway? Those darn Grey’s writers are good.

It’s early, and I’m up and ready to go. To court. Yea, today is the adoption hearing for Mark, Ashley, and Serenity. I have hopes that things will go smoothly, and Serenity will officially be a Koch by the end of the day. But of course, there are always things that could happen to hinder the process. Cross your fingers.

Tomorrow is the last day of my undergraduate career. I couldn’t be happier to have this over finally. The entire process is/was stressful, and I just want a day to *breathe* and relax. I’m sure there will be pictures to post on Sunday or early next week, depending on when I recover from all the fun.

Ahhh, I still can’t get over George!

Our little professor.

Kendall, in her new glasses. May 8, 2009

Isn’t this the cutest little thing ever? She’s quite a riot around here.

home stretch.

I found a flashdrive that I have been searching for forever with a lot of things that I had written in my creative writing and poetry classes a few years ago. It was very refreshing to read these things and not feel whatever emotions I had when I wrote them, good or bad. I love reading them slightly objectively and critiquing them with the objectivity that other people might. I am thinking about posting a few later, but they’ll have to wait until this revamped resumè is done and printed.

It was, overall, a very productive Sunday for me.

the inbetween

Lilacs.

I think I’m scared.
I think I think too much.

I have this weird feeling in my chest today.
A fluttery feeling.
I can’t tell if I like it
Or if it just scares me.
I wish I knew what he was thinking.
But maybe I really don’t.

7 days. He’s coming. My turf,
and I’m still unsure.

Holy crap, I’m scared!
I don’t bring boys to meet the friends often,
well unless they already know them.
Because if they don’t click with my friends,
it’s a done deal.
Done, over, no more.

Scared. And so EXCITED!

Eyes flutter, chest heaves.
Exhaustion finally wins.
Gone.

(goodnight, darlings.)

la la la.

I am gearing up for another busy week. Work will be crazy, I’m sure, because I am hoping to have some down time. It never turns out the way I think it will. I do have to redesign the volunteer brochure so that should keep my time occupied for the most part. Oh, and then there is that ConnectNow meeting that will take up most of Wednesday. I actually love those meetings though. You learn a lot about the library in one afternoon.

This weekend was a blast. The old crew from high school went out. The first time we have all hung out since before I was injured! And it was like nothing had changed. I have the best friends ever. I won’t go all into why because it turned out to be a very long and crazy night, but they are just great. I have a few pics, but none that are worth showing. We all were too plastered to take a decent one at the same time. Thankfully Benny was sober enough to drive home.

19 days til graduation. It’s so close!

stretching.

I don’t think I have ever been so ready for summer to be here. Winter was relatively short this year, but still I missed warm weather and opportunities for fun outside things.

You can see it in the eyes.

April 20, 2009

There are days when maybe I don’t doll up, put a bunch of makeup on, or do my hair all up. But still I feel beautiful.

Today was one of those days. It’s amazing what another person can make you feel.