Archive for November, 2008

November 28, 2008

giving thanks.

Yesterday was such an awesome day. I can’t remember ever having a better Thanksgiving Day than we did this year.

Everyone got along, laughed almost the entire time, and generally had a genuinely good family bonding time. It felt really good to have people around who care about me no matter what I do or say. I think I needed it actually. It was like being warmed up after a long cold day outside. It felt really warm and loving.

And we played Bingo. Yes, Bingo. It was the dorkiest thing we’ve all ever done as a family (19 of us!) and probably one of the funnest too. The adults enjoyed it more than the kids, I think.

It made me excited for Christmas too!

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November 20, 2008

fresh.

I haven’t had time to write, or even think for that matter.

Life is good.

I officially set up the internship details with Diana and Kari today. I couldn’t be more excited about this experience if I tried. The things I’ll be doing are exactly what I want: writing, editing, designing, and from what I gathered today, lots of laughing. Diana, my supervisor, is so awesome and completely laid-back about everything. She made me check out every bathroom to make sure each was accessible. She said if even one wasn’t, she would make them remodel it before I start in a few weeks. I mean, she’s that cool. I HAVE A CUBICLE! ha, I have never been excited about something like that. And it has a door so it’s like a tiny office. My tiny office.

I am ready to do more than just writing, and this opportunity is going to allow me to expand everything I have been taught and put it to use in the real world.

Finally, things are falling into place.

November 10, 2008

hanging onto hope

Today turned out to be a great day, despite cold and dreary weather.
I haven’t felt so confident, so self-assured, and appreciated in a long time.

And it feels so good.

I am going to continue the positivity into tomorrow
when Aunt Nancy goes in for yet another test of some kind.

I haven’t quite sorted out how I will handle the news
if it truly is the cancer that will kill her. I think I know it,
but the words are what will make it real.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
People beat cancer, everyday, in every state,
so I can only hope that hoping can save her.
She may be halfway across the country,
but she’s still my aunt.

I’m on the up-swing again, folks.

p.s. 185 days to graduation.

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November 7, 2008

eager.

Eagerly, I am trying to push against
all the negative that has driven itself into my life.

Eagerly, I am looking ahead to the future
and good things to come–
when the time of now will seem so distant.

Eagerly, I encourage you
to feel excited along with me,
even if being eager takes effort.

Nothing worth having ever came easy.

November 5, 2008

Pushing ahead.

They say that when it rains, it pours. Well, if that’s the case, Kansas is a swampland, and I am drowning. Just when you think things can’t possibly get any worse, they do. Let’s recap the madness as of late:

Aunt Nancy has cancer. Not just any cancer, but a hormonal cancer that has spread itself through her entire body (lung, liver, ovaries, breast, stomach) and is slowly taking her energy away. She went yesterday for some test to try to determine where it started, and hopefully we’ll know something by tonight. I just can’t believe it. I am trying to have every fiber of me hoping that things go fine and somehow she can beat it, but there is a part of me that is preparing myself for a death and the grieving of my mother.

I wrecked the van. Yea, I know. An old guy cut me off, and I had nowhere to go except into the back of him. It’s so frustrating because I hate staying at home and feeling dependent on someone else to get where I need to go. I’m just waiting on the insurance company to know what my next move will be.

Grandma fell and broke her hip. We just saw her on Sunday, and the next day she was laid up in the hospital. Everyone has been here with her since her surgery yesterday, which is comforting. I just hope she can bounce back quickly and steadily.

On the good side, Obama was elected. I just knew he would, but like everything else, I held that bit of pessimistic self preparing myself for 4 years of McCain. I admit to not being a wholly political person, but this election has brought so many feelings and interests up that I didn’t even know I had. I actually argued with people over why he was worthy of the highest office in the land. And I cried when he was giving his acceptance speech. We are ready for something different, and I am just hoping he truly is the one who is going to bring that about.