as it unfolds.

Tulips, April 9, 2009

I was going to attempt to put up a video today, of Makinna and Tink running around, as practice, but as my luck would go, I have the wrong cord for the DV camcorder I have. Best Buy is closed for Easter so we’ll just have to push back any video projects for the week. It’s funny how one little hassle just makes the whole idea not worth doing. I’m not sure exactly what content I’d put into a video project anyway. My life is not quite exciting enough to record it in such a way regularly. But I’ll try and we’ll see what happens. Maybe I’ll surprise myself.

In the meantime, I’ve spent the last few days reading. Any student can probably attest that college doesn’t leave time for much recreational reading. It’s all about the textbooks during the semester. Thankfully for me, things are smooth, and I am only 2 papers and 2 tests away from being a college graduate. The papers are written through the first draft and need some tidying up, but basically I am done. So free time is mine. I started Girl with a Pearl Earring last night and finished it this morning. It’s not the biggest book or the most difficult to read, but I think that it is the fastest time I have ever finished one. Now I am working on The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It’s about a man who had a stroke and is completely paralyzed with the exception of his left eyelid, but his cognitive functions are completely normal. It’s, for lack of a better word, fascinating. He tells his story so realistically, and the emotion is overwhelming at times. Maybe it is because so many points he makes could be so perfectly matched to my own thoughts.

The anniversary of my accident is approaching, and with so many other things going on this year, especially good things, I almost forgot how close it really is. Last year was hard for me. I mean, 5 years sounded like forever at the time. The 4-year mark wasn’t as bad. I’m hoping this one, 6 years, will be smooth sailing again. In the book, Jean-Dominique Bauby says something that relates so well to me, and I think it’s something that maybe I’ll never get out of my system. He says “Rarely do I feel my condition so cruelly as when I am recalling such pleasures. Luckily I have no time for gloomy thoughts.” It makes more sense in the context he is talking about, but it is such a true statement and could apply to anyone who has had any life-changing situation, I suppose. I wouldn’t miss running if I didn’t remember what the ache afterward felt like. I wouldn’t miss close hugs if they hadn’t been so important before. Get it? If all that had been erased along with my ability to walk, maybe wheeling around wouldn’t be so frustrating sometimes. It’s the things I used to do, things I miss that makes my good life now seem not as good as it could be.

I’m not whining right now, not sad, nothing like that. Just reflecting I guess. Weird things, like anniversaries, get me thinking about stuff.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: