The thoughts crept through her brain slowly
and she visualized each word
as if it scrolled on a screen
across the back of her eyelids.
It made them more real.

The negativity they left was only further
proof of her unseen damage,
the scars inside that
no one could have detected.
She had long ago hidden them well.

She smiled the way a star
shines on the brightest night,
all the while wishing for a single cloud
to float easily into her path,
mulling out her effort
with its own shade of gray.
What hadn’t happened up to this moment
wouldn’t happen
and the voice reminded her
that what had happened had damaged her
beyond recognition and repair.
Such progress, she decided,
of the past weeks had been a waste of time,
a hope for healing
when there never would be enough of anything
to forever erase the memories
of that pain.

One day would come
when the air wasn’t so thick
and hard to inhale,
but today wasn’t going to be that day.

Today wasn’t that day.


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