blessing in disguise.

Tink (Serenity), December 19, 2009

I think that sometimes we’re given challenges in life that maybe only we are able to handle, things made for us to build and test our character. Maybe we’re given these things to teach other people about compassion and what it means to see past differences. I’m not talking about my paralysis this time. I’m talking about Tink.

When she was born, she was born without the radial bone in either of her arms, which caused her hands (mainly her thumbs) to be undeveloped too. After three surgeries (one to straighten her left forearm and two on her hands to reposition her pointer fingers as thumbs), she has four digits on each hand, instead of five.

This year, she started preschool, and in just the past few months, the surgeries and differences (I HATE the word deformities) in her hands are not normal to her anymore. They are painstakingly obvious because now she has 25 other kids that point them out to her. We, as a family, have never made a big deal about it because she can use them and get things done with adaptations and a little patience. Her hands are just hers, and they aren’t even noticeable to me anymore.

But she has been noticing, and it kills me. She told me last week “I don’t want just four fingers anymore. You have five, and Makinna (her sister) has five. I want five.” I almost cried, but I did the best I could to reassure her that four fingers are just fine, and that she is special. I don’t know how long that line will work, but for now she seems content knowing she is special.

She is only four years old. She shouldn’t know any of the evils of the world yet, the misconceptions, the cruelties. It makes me want to just wrap her up and protect her until she can understand fully that her disability is a part of her that makes me her beautiful. Even though she can drive me crazy sometimes, she truly is one of the most beautiful, sweetest little girls (okay, so maybe I am bias being her aunt and all). I hate that her future is surely going to be riddled with things that will make her want to cry and run away, but I think that she is strong and stubborn enough, even now at four, to get past those things and be a better person for it.

She’s tough, and I know she’ll be fine.

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2 Comments to “blessing in disguise.”

  1. I have to be careful visiting here, I’m all mistied.

    If she has any part of you in her, she’ll rise as an icon of strength above the rest.

    Thank you for all the things you share…

  2. I think Tink is one of the most beautiful little girls on this planet. She has such a gorgeous face, and one day (hopefully, awhile from now as she is only 4) a guy is going to take notice of that first and not her hands.

    She is special and she is going to win those over with her personality and her beauty. I hope the teasing isn’t too bad throughout her life, but kids are cruel and it will happen from time to time. Hopefully as she ages with these kids it won’t even be noticeable like it is to you and your family and if someone picks on her, her friends will stand up for her.

    Just in the pictures you take of her, each has a different personality to them. She never takes a bad picture.

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