Archive for March, 2011

March 31, 2011


+ KU basketball made me cry again this year. Who is VCU anyway? (Besides the team that kicked our butts?!)

+ Allergies turned into ear ache. I think there is probably a doctor appointment in my very near future. That is a weird pain.

+ Saturday night was so much fun. Reliving and laughing hysterically about it again on Monday morning at work was almost as much fun.

+ Learning to pace myself at work is paying off. Mondays don’t have to be so busy, and Fridays don’t have to be so boring.

+ Boys who ask me to dance are so funny. I think they think they’re going to offend me if they ask wrong. My legs don’t work, but I can still get down! :)

+ I missed cucumber melon lotion. I haven’t hardly used it since my accident because it made me feel nauseous, but I have rediscovered its wonder.

+ Topeka changed its name for Google. Kansas City got the optical fiber. If I didn’t love Google so much, I’d probably be pissed.

+ New ringtones are fun, especially when they’re free!

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March 30, 2011

my words.

sometimes it’s nothing more
than words put together in pretty ways
with sounds so similar
it’s like eating ice cream.
one bite comes along, then another.
one after the other
without trouble.

sometimes it’s nothing more
than words I can’t let anyone hear,
tears I can’t cry,
and crazy things nobody else would believe.

it can be soft.
it can be hard.
it can be just like me,
a strange mix of the two.

around and round.

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March 29, 2011


I don’t know if it is the allergies and this headache, or my hormones and PMS anger, but today was just all-around awful.

I was at work holding back the tears, thinking that I can’t take this job anymore. The crazy busy followed by utter boredom. The stupid jokes every single day. The same conversations. The jolly smiles when I really want to scream and pull my hair out. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but at the time, it was very real. I was thisclose to quitting my job and being free to be me again. But I didn’t. I do, however, think I’m going to start looking for something different.

This current job pays well, no doubt, but it’s sucking the fun side of me right down to the last drop. I don’t want a job that makes me miserable.

But for tonight, bed. me. early.

March 28, 2011

new haircut.

Nothing drastically different. I have done the chop-all-of-my-hair-off before, and it felt like forever for it to grow back out. I probably won’t do that again EVER, so I just had it layered up this time.

So much easier to take care of, and it makes my curls bouncier too.

March 27, 2011

silent sunday.

March 26, 2011

open-ended questions

How can you explain
such a hopeful heart
to someone so empty?

give them a smile?
some sunshine?
how many kind words does it take
to make them believe
in hope?

let them in
on what beautiful things can be

and watch them
fold their hands around

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March 25, 2011

photo purge.

I hate those days when you want to say something, but you don’t really have anything worth saying. Nothing lovely or that can make anyone feel any differently than they already do. Just a blank sort of day.

Today is one of those days.

So I’ll just stay quiet and let you look at some pretties. (and one goofy)

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March 24, 2011

clk. on a ring.

CLK. That’s me. Er, my initials anyway. And now I can wear them on my hand.

Isn’t it beautiful? I love it. Simple and sleek and it fits my skinny ole fingers!

I ordered it from Agustina Fernandez via her Etsy shop a few weeks ago, and I was actually surprised it arrived so quickly. Besides being completely handmade for me, it came all the way from Argentina. I can’t help looking through her jewelry and wanting to order more!

March 23, 2011

you’re gonna wish you never had met me.

This song reminds me of myself. Strong and stubborn and vengeful. Oh, I love it!!

I blast her new cd, 21, in the car and pretend that I can sing like her. And I do it loudly. I’m sure it’s really awful, but thankfully I can’t hear myself over the speakers.

March 21, 2011

it’s probably already there…

There are so many words out there to inspire us, get us thinking, get us moving, get us to do something. They tell us things that should be important and ways to be strong or feel worthwhile or live happily. They are beautiful words, no doubt, but I think it’s about time that some of us start living by our words.

Say it yourself. Aloud. Be your own philosopher.

Put your quote out there and then follow it.

I guess I have noticed that many people follow the words of others rather than themselves while on Pinterest. Don’t get me wrong. I am in love with that site because there are so many ideas there, but it’s sort of a catch-22. If you just get ideas, words, inspirations from other people all the time, you can’t really nuture your own, right? You are just bettering someone else’s idea, I think.

As soon as the sun is shining on a full-time basis and I get a day off work, I am going to just spend time with my thoughts, my journal, and my pen. And we’ll just see what I come up with.

March 20, 2011

Silent Sunday.

March 18, 2011

highlight of my week.

Now, let me tell you, my office sits at about 85 degrees. ALL. THE. TIME. I always get made fun of because I’m basically a popsicle. This little gem popped up on my desk yesterday from Dan, a coating guy, at work. He isn’t interested (believe me, I know), but he’s just a sweetheart. This particular one says “Dan was here. Damn, is it hot in here or is it just you?”

I needed a smile, and there it was.

March 17, 2011

across the yard.

Glass anchors your ear
to the turbulence in their words
and you can’t move away,
this uncomfortable sight on
the other side of your quiet.

She screams. He draws back,
flinching like words could slap,
but only muffled sounds
reach you and your questioning mind.

One of them would be crying
and apologizing later.
For now–it’s only worth watching
because it’s not your voice
on the other end.

March 16, 2011

sunshine and daffodils.

Isn’t a nice day the best thing in the world?

Sometimes it’s just as simple as a beautiful day and a beautiful picture (those daffodils are from last year–I’m waiting on this year’s) to make the day seem not as stressful (or maybe just a little bit less awful).

March 15, 2011


My first Birchbox package came in the mail yesterday, and if I’m being honest, I felt a little bit like a diva as I opened it. I’m normally girly in a country-girl-at-home kind of way, I suppose. I don’t wear much makeup unless I’m going out, and I tend to stick with lip balms and mascara and a light powder foundation as my products of choice. Basically, If I take longer than 5 minutes doing my makeup in the morning, I have too much on.

And I pride myself on being pretty low maintenance.

I think if the samples are this good every month, though, I’ll be falling in love with more makeup and beauty products. And consequently, a longer morning routine.

It might just be worth it though.

March 14, 2011

now that makes sense.

You don’t have to use
a lot of words
to get a lot of meaning.
And you don’t have to
prove your love
with money, just actions.

Sometimes the less you try
the more it means.

Life isn’t all about

After all,
I only want this.

March 13, 2011

Big XII Champions!

KU Jayhawks did it again!

Brady, my 17-year-old nephew, and I drove down to Kansas city early, and it’s a good thing we did. There were so many people and so much stuff to do. They had set up games and vendors outside of the Sprint Center, and all you could see was red and blue for 2 blocks, besides a few Texas fans sprinkled around.

We met Wayne Simien. Seriously one of the coolest “famous” people I’ve ever met. He only spent a few years in the NBA before calling it quits (he won a championship with the Heat even) and becoming a minister. Big change of lifestyle, I’m sure.

The game was awesome. It was close at first, then KU got a 10-point or so lead and kept it for pretty much the entire 2nd half. The Morris twins both had a great game, and Tyrell Reed did his first-ever KU jam. I can say that I have never felt so much excitement in one place.

Can’t wait for the NCAA tourney!

March 12, 2011

links I am loving.

+ Pinterest. Whoever came up with this concept/site is sheer genius. And if it’s a man, I need to marry him so our babies can be geniuses too.

+  These BEAUTIFUL invites.  Chevron has been on my mind lately, and these are perfectly executed.

+ Anything DIY is on my “like” list, but these mugs look easy and clean and such great gift ideas.

+ Another DIY that is simple and can be personalized for any event. Plus it’s Hambly!

+ 30 Days of Lists! Fun project! Be watching for my updates on this soon.

March 11, 2011


+ It was a rough week. I wanted to strangle someone, anyone really, but I managed to keep my composure. You know how I wrote once about not having my dream job? This week has felt more like it is a nightmare.

+ American Idol has become a guilty pleasure again. Paul (the Rod Stewart sound-a-like) is so awkwardly adorable. I love it.

+ I miss football, but at least I have KU basketball to keep me occupied. Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

+ I didn’t give up anything for Lent this year. Bad? Maybe. But I figure I have given up enough in my life to hopefully be forgiven one day.

+ Paper cuts + antibacterical hand sanitizer = PAIN!!!

+ Retail therapy is weird. I don’t understand how spending money can make me feel better about anything, but it does.

+ Reed’s chicken sanchos are my fav. The end.

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March 9, 2011


I am honored to call this woman my friend. She is an amazing person, and she says it just how it is.

March 8, 2011

25 book update.

I can check another goal off of the 25 goal list. Watching 10 movies isn’t a hard goal for most people, I suppose, but I don’t really watch that much tv, besides sports, and definitely not a lot of movies. I’ve rented movies on weekends that I don’t feel like going out, and 10 was actually easier than I thought. I’m sure I’ll hit 20 before August comes around. Some of the movies I have caught for the first time are old, and most people have seen them. Brokeback Mountain, Fight Club, and The Dark Knight for example. I am so behind the times on movies! It’s a great time to catch up, I guess.

1. Alvin and the Chipmunks
2. The Back-Up Plan
3. Charlie St. Cloud
4. Eat, Pray, Love
5. Fight Club
6. What Happens in Vegas
7. Freedom Writers
8. Brokeback Mountain
9. The Dark Knight
10. Date Night
11. Role Models
12. Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth version)
13. In Love and War
14. My Sister’s Keeper

I put this post into the book as a page too. It had nothing to do with any of the goals, but it’s been a really good year for my sister and I’s relationship. For a while, we just grew apart living our own lives, and now that we work together and see each other every single day, we are back to where we look at each during conversations with other people and are thinking the exact same thing. I love that about us.

March 7, 2011

let’s be at no loss.

In the midst of our morning
your smile is anguished,
trying to disguise all the things
neither want to
put on the table in front of us.

Knife, fork, plate, goodbye.

We just can’t
cut open our hearts
and finish.
All of it is
too hot for handling
so we wait
for the steam to rise

and will never speak another word
about it.

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March 6, 2011

i love being aunt carrie.

March 5, 2011

hello, weight gain.

I wrote once about wanting to gain some weight. Well, when Mandy came back from maternity leave, we started our little “weight chasers” group at work. There are about 6 of us, and I’m the only one trying to gain. ha.

So far we’re doing well. I’m up 7 pounds from where I was in August! I didn’t quite realize how hard it was going to be to gain weight without gorging myself full of horrible fatty foods. I want to still be healthy when I reach a good weight, instead of having my veins full of crap. The thought of that sort of turns my stomach.

It’s an ongoing process, just like weight loss. The only thing that is good about weight gain instead of loss is that I can eat when I am hungry. Lately, that’s a lot. My body has definitely gotten the breakfast, lunch, dinner schedule down. It’s grumbling if I’m ever too late for a meal. My own reminder. :)

March 3, 2011

there are ideas a-swirling.

Lots of them, and my sketchbook is quickly filling up. Who knows what I’ll actually go through with designing (or what I’ll have time to design anytime soon), but at least I have them there where I can see them.

I love that idea-in-my-head feeling. Don’t you?