pretty nice nonsense.

At work, we have weird conversations sometimes.  Deep conversations.  About things that I don’t talk about to other people, really, like my feelings (eek, ha) and direction in life and dreams and I want. Stuff that normally I keep to myself, or write here.

(I’m starting to think we breathe in too many chemicals or something. Ha.)

But these conversations always makes me think.

One thing we’ve spent quite a bit of time talking about is, of course, love. And marriage. And whether it’s all even worth it.  Mandy says yes.  She is the one who lives with her heart wide open, giving chances where Phil and I probably wouldn’t. She is the one who insists that if you don’t leave yourself somewhat vulnerable to love, you’ll miss out on something great when it comes along.

Phil says no way.  Leave your heart open and, bam, someone is going to crush you.  If you are single, you can do what you want and have fun doing it. So what, it’s a little lonely sometimes? At least you aren’t heartbroken, right?

I suppose I am in the middle.  I see both sides and sort of live in both sides too.  I’m probably the most guarded, most loving person you’ve ever met.  Confusing, I know, but so true.  If I find someone that I love, I am in wholeheartedly.  But getting there is the hard part.

I like talking about philosophies and listening to them debate too. They make me see things in ways that I hadn’t thought about before.  Not just love, life and hate and being vengeful and forgiving and everything. They make me stop and think.

I think they’re becoming my favorite part of my job.

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