Archive for March, 2012

March 31, 2012

game day!

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

March 29, 2012

project life: week 11

It was a busy week. And tiring. And totally worth being tired.

I kept it simple for week 11. Pictures with little embellishments or journaling, besides the usual “this week” card. Not because I didn’t want to work on it, but I just didn’t have the time or energy.

I still think it turned out well. I like the simplicity and randomness of the pictures but still shows how chaotic the days seemed to be.

Onto week 12…


March 28, 2012

chase.

Somewhere there is
a universe
waiting
on magic,

looking for us
to entangle
our arms
around it

and run.

March 26, 2012

lately.

In pictures.





March 23, 2012

thinking about…

+ the little things. Whoever first said that they are all that matters was a wise one.

+ forgiveness. There is a point where hating someone only turns into a double-edged sword and eventually only hurts the one who hates. There is no harm in forgiveness. It doesn’t mean you have to be around that person or like them or be friends with them. It just means that you can go about your day without feeling immense fire inside if you simply see their name. There is no harm in forgiveness.

+ work. I realize I’ve let it bring me down and frustrate me beyond what I should have.

+ my need to breathe. I’m thinking of taking a ME day when the weather stays decent. My camera, my journal, and my thoughts.

+ my blog. I mean, do I really ever say anything new? It feels like I am going in circles in thought and have nothing intriguing to say anymore. I need to find some inspiration. Something, somewhere.

March 22, 2012

remember.

March 21, 2012

wait awhile.

let’s stay in, me and you,
out of the rain
to hide from the gray
that weighs everything heavy
and makes anything happy
seem a little bit less.

hide with me all day.

there may not be any energy
left for anything else
but I’d rather use it all
loving you.

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March 20, 2012

evenings.

I’ll sip my wine slowly,
staring at the sweet red with glazed eyes
making it last long enough
to let my heart relax.

I’ll be counting on you
to hold me together on those days
when falling apart seems to sound
like the easiest thing to do.

You and the smell of cologne
at your neck collar.

Hold me together
however you like.
Just do it as often as I need
and when I decide to cry,
let me, or not.
Whatever will work,
I cannot say.
I only promise to return
the favor.

I’ll drink you in, light-hearted love,
and forget everything heavy.

March 16, 2012

bad dream.

I woke up, alert and aggressive
like the red hot anger melted
from my subconscious to my blood
with the widening of my eyes.

Her image was still fresh
and the questioning expression
was perfectly placed on her face
like she has been there only
to aggravate me into silence.

I hated her more then
than when I fell asleep
the night before.

March 15, 2012

Thoughts.

+ New gun = fun! I can shoot it so much better than the little cotton candy colored one. Actually, handling it in general feels safer. Maybe I won’t end up shooting myself in the leg after all.

+ A new haircut is on my mind. I need something different.

+ Act of Valor. Amazing, amazing movie. I almost cried but held it together pretty well. Besides a few gasps and “oh no!”s anyway.

+ iPhone and Instagram all day long. Loooove it. (Find me @carrielkoch)

+ When we move, there will definitely be a California King bed in my bedroom. And tons of pillows. It’s like sleeping on heaven.

+ Taco Bueno chicken tacos are my craving of the week. I miss our TB!

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March 14, 2012

somewhere the wind blows…


You ever have one of those days when you just need to cry? For no reason. For nobody. With nothing but yourself and a Kleenex. Or maybe the napkins stuffed in your glovebox.

That was my yesterday. Sunshine was all around, bright and cheerful, but I was not. I was full of the feeling that tears would have just felt good running down my cheeks, making my eyes burn with wet mascara. I need a cry every once in a while, and it’s been far too long, I think, since my eyes stung with that burn.

I don’t like to cry; I’m not sure anyone really does, but the feeling that comes afterwards just feels better than the feeling did before. Lighter. Calmer. Clearer.

Today is going to be a better day. And I’m glad yesterday is done.

March 13, 2012

project life: week 10

I’ve mentioned Project Life a few times here, but mostly on my Twitter. It’s a fun, easy little “Scrapbooky” way to keep track of everyday life. The pocket pages are just the right size for 4 x 6 pictures and 3 x 4 notes. I love it.

And it gives me a little bit of push to document the days. I don’t want to regret not documenting them someday.

I can’t promise that I will keep up with a blog for every week of the Project, but I do promise to try.

This week was a fun one because it was full of stuff. I managed to get a lot of pictures. Actually far more than any other week, but I wanted lots of pattern this week because it sort of shows the busy-ness.




Onto week 11!

March 12, 2012

pep talk.

Life is about challenge.

Pushing myself.
Bettering myself.
Testing myself.
Questioning myself.
Exhausting myself to the point that I can finally appreciate relaxation.
Giving myself a chance to make all the mistakes I want.

I’ve done all that, and now I know that
love is about challenge too.

Missing someone else.
Needing someone else.
Wishing he was there when I know he can’t be.

This is a big one,
and we are going to be
just fine.

March 11, 2012

weekend in pictures.

I can honestly say I haven’t had so much fun in a long time. <3

March 8, 2012

so smooth.

I did it. I finally broke down and bought an iPhone 4s. Okay, “broke down” gives the impression that I was resistant to the idea of having one when really I drooled over the iPhone from the very beginning. Sprint just didn’t have it until recently, and my upgrade wasn’t due for months and months when it was released.

All that matters is that it is mine now. (So what if I paid a little bit extra to hurry my upgrade up by 2 months!)

Favorite thing #1: It syncs with my iPad & iMac. Life (and organization) just got a whole lot easier.

Favorite thing #2: FaceTime. Greg goes to Indianapolis for who-knows-how-long for work on Monday, and this is probably going to get a lot of use.

Favorite thing #3: Instagram. Like Twitter, with pictures. And filters. And friends. So fun. I even got Darcy into it.

Least favorite thing: I don’t want to scratch it or drop it or even touch it because it is so beautiful, I want to keep it perfect.

March 6, 2012

five.

They are the hardest on me
and sweetest and most honest
and most protective.

I fit right in at 4th
and am good at the
little sister, big sister thing.
Old enough to know what’s good,
too young to care.

And they’re good at 1,2,3,5.

(Five. It’s a good number.)

We are our own
little exclusive group.
We are the
brothers and sisters.

March 1, 2012

such sweetness.

It was sweet and warm like vanilla,
heavy across your collarbones
and gently infused with all things of you.

It was a comfort when I cried
and breathed in your hugs.
It was just enough to know
you were always there,
like I could lie my head on that smell
the same as a pillow
to snuggle up and be safe.
It was always you there
wrapping me up in your tangy scent too.

One spritz made a million memories
and whenever I need a reminder,
I can smell my childhood
at the perfume counter.