Archive for June, 2012

June 29, 2012

project life.

While I have been keeping up on my Project Life (I think if I were to get behind, I would drown and give up on it), I haven’t been good at keeping up on blogging about it. Bad Carrie.

I won’t go through the past 2 weeks because most of it has been on the blog anyway. I don’t want to bore you too much.

I’m sure any of you who do PL know what I’m talking about. Sometimes the pictures do the whole thing justice. No words needs.

June 28, 2012

etsy update.

I have completely neglected my Etsy shop in the past 6-8 months. It’s been a very busy and happy and crazy time in my life with work and love. Who knew being happy could consume so much time?

Anyway, I have relisted some extra cards I have sitting around and am currently designing new ones, simple ones, ones that say what sometimes not easily said out loud. Bo looking for those soon.

Until then, spread the word.

June 28, 2012

seems like summertime.

We laid under that cotton candy
blue sky for hours,
a million humid seconds
of my life, hovering around
with nothing but your words
to make them important.

Life wheeled around us.
People went to work,
came home and made themselves
forget that tomorrow
they would do the same.
Green grass grew slowly.
The sweet air that whispered
against my skin
made itself to you
then moved on again.

Something happened there
to our friendship
and it was more
than just the wind’s sass.

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June 26, 2012

and my girls are…

Greg and I agreed early on that our wedding party would be small, not because we were at a shortage of people but because we didn’t want the whole thing to be centered around who was in it, what they wore, etc., instead of the fact that we have each other and want to be husband-and-wife. We don’t want a wedding just for the sake of having one. Greg will have his brother, Grant, and best friend, Mike, and I will have my sister, Darcy, and best friend, Maria. Small. Simple.

These two girls have gotten me through the toughest times of my life. They have supported me, loved me, and fought with me. They make me laugh until I cry. They know how much I love and adore Greg, and I want them up there with me when I take on a new role, not just sister or best friend. I’ll be a wife.

I got each of them an & ring from catbirdnyc and wrote them a note to officially ask if they would be my maid of honor and bridesmaid. I gave Darcy hers first and forced her to not post any pictures on Facebook until after I gave Maria her ring. Of course, they both said yes. Not that there was ever any doubt.

So now we have our wedding party settled and ready. We have our date. We have our place. This whole wedding thing might be easier than I thought.

June 26, 2012

road trip!

This weekend we planned on making a trip to Mount Vernon to see Angel, but since she was sick (poor girl can’t catch a break!), we didn’t really know what we were going to do. So we packed up an overnight bag and just headed south. We went by HobbyTime Motorsports, but they were closed. Bummer. After that, we had no idea what the day would bring, so we just drove. No plans. No real destination in mind. Just driving.

We stopped along the way taking pictures of cool stuff and went to Bass Pro Shops when we got into Springfield. Cool place. Later, we ended up at Table Rock Lake and got a room for the night. Right on the water. It was really pretty.

The next day, Sunday, was about the same. We went into Branson and did a little shopping. Outlet mall for the win! After I got my new Coach bag and Greg got the nice Fossil watch he’s been wanting, we started toward home. And a 3 hour drive only took us 9. No joke. We made quite a few more stops for pictures and sightseeing on back roads. I’m still exhausted.

And I’m thinking we will be doing this more than once. It’s fun, us just hanging out in the truck finding neat little places along the way. Me and my boy.

Favorite moments:
– Realizing Greg had Instagrammed a picture of me while I was sleeping. I’ll get him back for that one.
– Relaxing on the cabin couch in my comfy KU pjs watching Cars with G. We’re easily amused.
– Laughing during dinner. That chicken was definitely cooked in teriyaki.
– Singing in the truck on the way home.

June 23, 2012


“What had changed her? She had never been like this. It was him, or course, and the connection she felt with him, an intimacy so intense that she felt she could say anything, do whatever she liked,suppress nothing.”

-Ken Follett, Fall of Giants

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June 20, 2012

Dayton & Layla.

Lindsay wanted to get some shots of the kids for Todd for his Father’s Day so we took them to Ward-Meade Park one evening last week for a small shoot. I always have fun shooting these sweeties. Dayton was bored right away, but we managed to get some good ones before a total meltdown. And Layla, well, she is just Layla, sweet and smiley. The colors were great. The sun was in about just the right place.

And they turned out pretty great, if I do say so myself.

June 19, 2012

look who is THREE.

Happy Birthday, Dayton! You crazy little man. You make us all smile with your silly antics and your goofy faces. Love you buddy!

June 18, 2012

this is what we did Saturday night.

So much fun. Scary fun, but fun.

June 14, 2012

this is me, today.

June 12, 2012


I wanted to break into a run,
cut through the air between us
and be standing so close to you
that your breath warmed my chilled skin.

You had been gone for 11 days
and even for a girl like me,
11 days is too long.

You smelled the same,
strong and musky,
and the tattoos hadn’t faded one shade,
still silvery and beautiful.

Your heart, too,
had filled up again
when my green eyes met your blue.

I was afraid that if I wrapped
my arms around you,
felt your waist against mine,
I couldn’t let go again.

And it was so real
until I woke up alone.

June 11, 2012

happy birthday dad!

We love you!

June 10, 2012


One of my favorite things about Greg and I is that we don’t have to have big plans to have fun together. We don’t have to spend a lot of money or go to extravagant places. We just hang out and make things fun as we go.

This weekend, we went to Union Station and walked around. It’s such a pretty place with lots of people (3 weddings were happening that day!) and beautiful, detailed architecture. Then we went over to Crown Center to go to the new SeaLife Aquarium. It was pretty, but I think any aquarium is. My wheelchair battery has been acting up so the walk back to the van was panicked on my part (the battery was blinking RED at me), but of course, Greg is the calm one. That damn battery is definitely priority #1 this week.

June 9, 2012

happy birthday serenity,

You are funny and smart and growing up too fast. Let’s slow down a lil bit, okay?

June 8, 2012

makinna and tink: another year older.

On Saturday, we had Makinna and Serenity’s birthday party. Makinna turned 5 on May 25, and Serenity will be 7 tomorrow. Lots of pink and candy and laughs and giggles.

Ashley and Mark had food for us, along with cake/cupcakes/ice cream and tons of candy.

And the kids had a blast. Until next year. :)

June 7, 2012

oh, the place.

We found it. The place. The Victorian Veranda Inn. The photos and site don’t do this place justice. It’s so pretty and quiet and simple. So us.

The innkeeper, Rob, is so nice and accommodating. We met with him on Sunday, and he seems like someone who would have been a teacher. That patient kind of person with little quirks. I like that about him. He was concerned about accessibility issues, but it is going to work out just fine for us. In fact, it’s more accessible than a lot of places I have been.

Since Greg and I live about an hour apart, it was only fair to get a place in between here and Kansas City. Our families and friends will have about the same driving distance, and we will be on neutral ground. It’s going to be awesome.

So the date and place are ours. Now onto the rest…

June 6, 2012

see that smile?

It’s because she is talking to Uncle Greg.

They all love him, but Makinna has claimed him as her own. She tells me all the time that she loves him, and she gets shy when he is around.

So cute.

June 5, 2012


Like silk on sandpaper
you soften me, slowly,
tracing over my rough patches
with a light determined diligence.
The hush of your breath
against my shivering cheek
sends rivets of relief
clear down to my fingers
and finally, I feel you.

That inked skin of yours
soothes mine in
all the right ways.

It’s here in the dark
that we have our
best conversations.

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June 4, 2012

june goals.

I was writing in my journal today and realized I haven’t posted my goals for this month. It’s been a little hectic around here lately, with so many good and bad things going on. Anyway, I’ve already accomplished a few of these, or am very close. I hope June decides to stay sunny.

+ Find a place for the wedding.
+ Get trailer off the land.
+ Design a new business card.
+ Take lunch to work 4 out of 5 days each week.
+ Catch up on ISO at work.
+ Relax.

June 1, 2012

dear summer,

I have missed you and your bright colors. I have missed your tank top weather and opened flowers, and I have missed the lightning bugs at dusk.

Let’s spend some time together. Another 3 months or so?

June 1, 2012

things i am afraid to tell you: my version.

Have you seen the “Things I Am Afraid to Tell You” posts around the blogosphere lately? If not, google it. They are vulnerable and tender, and I couldn’t help but admire the bravery of these women who are putting it all out there for everyone to see.

I decided to be one of them. I decided that if I put some of these things in one post, I’d feel better about posting any vulnerabilities from here on forward.

Here it goes.

+ I am extremely self conscious, even though I try very hard to pretend that I’m not. That sort of confidence just is used to detract from the things that I’m actually insecure about.

+ I am not afraid to try new things, but I hate going into any new situations without knowing what to expect. I like to have a plan. I like to know how spaces are laid out. I like to know any accessibility issues. It makes me anxious and unsure otherwise.

+ Fire hazards freak me out. I can’t just run away if my house ever caught fire. It would be a horrible way to go.

+ I am not as strong as everyone is convinced that I am.

+ I am scared of change. Big changes. And considering that my life is one big change after another lately, I am doing very well. I am learning that just because it is scary and different doesn’t mean it won’t be better in the grand scheme of things.

+ I am uncomfortable with my disability. It is not who I am, but it makes me so many things that I am proud of: determined, stubborn, stronger, emotional. I don’t quite know how to balance the hate and frustration I hate about being disabled with the pride I have for not letting it take over my life.

+ I am so sure sometimes, and at others, it’s like I am wandering. Life feels foreign with so much happiness filling it up.