This little girl is smart and sweet and funny. She has the personality the size of the Milky Way. And a prissy attitude to match. Her imagination never ceases to amaze me, and her smile can melt my heart. She loves Chapstick and to have her nails painted, but she’s the cutest thing in her tiny Carhartt bibs too. She’s much like a Sour Patch kid. Tough and salty when she needs to be, but sweet and soft on the inside.

She turns 3 in a few days, and I can’t life without her. She’s a challenge, but she’s worth it. I can’t wait to see where life takes her or how she wrangles it.

october goals

October is here already! This year has been blowing past, and I can’t hang onto it. I need time to slow down so that I can soak in all the good things that have happened to me since last October.

But since that won’t happen, I’ll have to settle for making big projects small, and checking things off the list:

+ engagement pictures
+ order invite stuff
+ figure out menu for wedding
+ gain at least 3 pounds

thoughts.

+ It has been a long week for only a four-day week. Not enough sleep and too many annoyances.  And I want summer back.

+ I have to force myself to keep quiet when people come into my office, look around, then ask why I don’t have any chairs. There are 100+ smartass comments I could make, but I stick with “because you people would stay!”

+ When I am eating a candy bar, it usually means two things: it has been a rough day, and you better not fuck with me. Few people learn this lesson very quickly.

+ I have been doing very little to my hair during the week, and it feels healthier than it has for a long time (besides needing trimmed). I might have to cut back on skin products too…just to see what happens.

+ I heard Jesus Christ by Brand New and immediately thought of Jake. He loved that band. I can’t believe it has been almost a year since he has been gone.

+ Chiefs beat the Packers. Just thought I’d remind everyone. :)

+ I can’t believe Christmas is almost here. This year I am so ready and not ready at all. I think I missed some of 2011 because it seems super short.

silent sunday.

fall is my favorite.

I used to think summer was my season, with all the sunshine and tank top weather, but I was wrong. Hoodies, chilly morning/evening air, changing leaves, hot coffee and driving with the windows open and the wind in my hair. I love it all more than sweltering heat.

I am soaking up all the beauty that is fall before it gets too cold, though it is somewhat calming to be able to wrap up in a blanket and just chill for a minute.

I need some chill.

such riches.

She never tried to taint his heart
made of a godly kind of gold,
sparkling in glints,
like the heat of the sun
on the single brightest afternoon.
No, she didn’t want to change its color.

She only wanted a piece for herself
to carry in her thin pocket
so maybe she could finally
be worth something too.

in my way.

Impossibility is such a heavy word
leaving bitterness and pain
on my tongue like coarse salt
of my favorite food.

So many things are
beyond my reach
beyond my power.
These things
I think of most.

It does me no good
to want or imagine–
still I taste them
occupying minutes of my day
distracting, aggravating
sometimes breeding false
hope all around.

Somehow my impossibilities are
what keeps me going,

waiting
for hope to pay off.