Posts tagged ‘change’

January 19, 2011

so sick of it.

I need a change. I don’t know what yet, but a little voice inside me is crying for something new. New hair color? New scenery? New people? I’m not sure.

Maybe I just need something so that I don’t stir crazy in this cold, crazy weather. I tend to get antsy if I’m in the same situation for too long, and for the past 5 months, it has basically been wake up, go to work, come home, sleep. Every day. Definitely, there needs to be a change.

I am going to Kansas City tomorrow for an appointment, and then maybe some sight-seeing. If i don’t freeze my fingers off, I’ll find something worth photographing. We’ll see how that goes.

Happy Wednesday!

February 10, 2010

vague, I know.

For a person to change, they have to want to change. Nobody can make them or do it for them. They have to want it and try. Fuck, just show some kind of effort to be a law-abiding go-to-work-everyday contributing member of society.

Tomorrow, I’m making a trip to KC to go shopping. Retail therapy at its best. I shouldn’t really be spending much money, but I need to get out of here to save my own sanity (or whatever sliver of sanity I seem to have salvaged lately).

I am sick of feeling like I am the one who is wrong. I am sick of feeling like I have to hush, hush the shit that goes on and act like it doesn’t happen. I am sick of being here around it.

Sometimes if you can’t change a person (after trying and trying and waiting and wishing and trying again), it’s you who changes. After today, I am done. Done worrying and done caring.

September 29, 2008

entering the next phase.

September 28, 2008

I always feel that when a change in seasons is upon us and the weather begins to change, that a certain kind of cleansing happens. A cleansing that allows us to get rid of the bad or angry feelings, any stress or negativity from the season before, and start fresh.

Even though the weather is still somewhat summery, I have felt that change happening in me this weekend. I relaxed. I read a book, for fun. I emailed an old friend, using my extra few minutes to make sure he knew I missed him instead of slaving over the things I should have been doing. I always get a sentimental feeling about seasons changing, because there will never be another spring of 03 or summer of 08, etc. I package them in my mind and try to remember things that happened by the month. It doesn’t always work, but I try.

This fall I am looking forward to the breezy air, the smell of dusk and stomped-through leaf piles. I am looking forward to candy corn and little kid Halloween costumes. I am looking forward to times with friends and photo sessions (yes, I have people that want me to do portraits for them for fall!).

I am looking forward to it all.