Posts tagged ‘excitement’

December 3, 2009

inviting trouble.

You’re supposed to be
out of my reach,
in that dimension beyond
the boundaries of safety,
my safety.

You’re supposed to be
complicated,
a bet not meant to gamble.

It’s the danger that should
drive me away,
the recklessness of a man
with your clear complacency.
Instead, it blinks in front of me
beautifully intoxicating
and waits for my outstretched fingertips.

Your own rough fingerprints
are left all over my body
as invisible evidence
of some lustful crime.

I should be smarter about you,
but as long as I know what to expect
I only have time
to lose.

I feel a sin coming on
every time I’m near you.

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February 9, 2009

New-ness.

There is always something exciting about meeting a new person,
and being really excited to get to know them, about being around them
and knowing they are excited to be learning who you are too.

It’s always the small things that he does
that I remember the next day.
These small things, happy things,
can sneak up on me when I least expect them to,
and they are becoming the things
I look forward to making me smile.

I haven’t been so happy or felt so adored in quite a long time.
And I could certainly get used to it.

And I told myself I wouldn’t be smitten again.

Damn.

February 26, 2008

Home sweet home.

I’ve thought many times about moving out, getting my own place, maybe even buying. I always talked myself out of it, telling myself to wait until after college or wait until I get a job. Plus I never wanted to stay in Topeka long after graduation so there was no point in rushing into a committment of housing that I knew wouldn’t be lasting.

I saw a billboard a while back about lofts in downtown. I never imagined wanting to live downtown, never had the thought even cross into my thoughts until I saw that billboard. I finally looked at the website. And now I am in love with the idea. They’re beautiful (and almost just like the condo that I completely fell in love with in Branson). The realtor, head renovator, and I have discussed it even, and since all the spaces aren’t filled or renovated yet, they said I could probably buy the space and then work with the designers to layout the loft just the way I want, ensuring that the kitchen and bathrooms are completely accessible. It makes me want it so much more! I have the excited tingles just thinking of it.

Staying in Topeka wouldn’t be so bad because it’s a good town to start in, get experience in my field, and build myself up for the idea of going to Denver, if I should still want to.

A place for myself is something I definitely want. And sometimes it’s something I desperately need for my own sanity. Lately I feel caged, like I can’t go anywhere without somone hovering. If I had my own home, I could crawl in bed, close the blinds, and turn off the phone for a while so I can just relax with some quiet.

I am not sure if I’ll actually decide to buy a loft there, but the opportunity to design it myself…with the designers and their obvious great taste and abilites…is almost too good to pass up! I’ll keep the updates on this coming.