Posts tagged ‘flowers’

August 9, 2010

in my way.

Impossibility is such a heavy word
leaving bitterness and pain
on my tongue like coarse salt
of my favorite food.

So many things are
beyond my reach
beyond my power.
These things
I think of most.

It does me no good
to want or imagine–
still I taste them
occupying minutes of my day
distracting, aggravating
sometimes breeding false
hope all around.

Somehow my impossibilities are
what keeps me going,

for hope to pay off.

January 29, 2010


Even though you can’t really tell by the picture, I’ve been sick. Coughing, sneezing, cold, hot, runny nose, half-way voice, headache. Oh, it sucks. I just want to breathe normal again. In the meantime, I have been spending my time watching tv (MTV reruns mostly), reading All the King’s Men, writing, and attempting to keep myself warm (or cool depending on what my body temperature is craving at that moment).

Something about being sick makes me so emotional. I think it’s just the helpless feeling that there’s nothing that can make it go faster. I just have to sit and wait it out, which I don’t have time for. Waiting and being sick are exhausting, and putting the two together, well, it’s just not my thing. Anything could make me cry, and that certainly doesn’t help any. Getting mad only makes the headache worse. The only plus would be that it makes me want to put words on paper.

What could make it better? Yep, flowers. My good friend Ronnie, who I have known since we were about 13, brought me flowers yesterday afternoon. How sweet of him! There are times when we go weeks without seeing each other, but other times we talk every day and hang out as much as we can. It’s been that way lately. I think I have talked to him more than anyone else. We have our code-red-I-need-to-talk conversations and laughing-til-we-cry conversations too. It’s rare to find a guy friend that cries around me, but he does. He’s a big ole crybaby when he’s having a hard day, and I completely love him for it.

January 21, 2010


This year is about me.

I spent a majority of 2009 worrying about everyone else. Dad was really sick/hospitalized twice. Two babies were born into the family. Fights and tensions were sprinkled throughout. I know a few good things happened, like my graduation, Kristi’s visit, Maria moving back. Still, I had vowed to have a good year, and it turned up short.

So I decided that this year is going to be different.

It’s about me. Taking care of myself, spoiling myself, nurturing my own happiness.

One of the ways I am doing that is buying myself flowers every week. I like flowers. They’re pretty and make my room smell fresh. And they just make me happy. So I will have them. Who says you can’t buy yourself flowers? At least you don’t have to wait around for some man to buy them as a gesture.

The bouquet I bought this week is deliciously smelling and brightens my room. I’ll admit that I don’t really know what they are, but that’s okay with me. They’re yellow and pink and white. Next week maybe I’ll try something different, but the spring colors lifted me up and got me excited for spring and warmer temperatures and, oddly enough, spring rain.

2010 is looking up already.

June 13, 2009

Pit of happiness.

Gage Park, Rose Garden, June 12, 2009

Those moments in the day
when everything slows down
and the sunshine can settle
on the freckles in my cheeks,
normally hidden.
When the troubles dull themselves
and, really, nothing is important.

Those moments are my favorite.
They are the ones when I feel most alive.

April 26, 2008


Most people don’t remember what the significance of April 26 is, unless it comes up somehow and I explain it. For those that do remember (and understand), it always makes me feel better. So there might not be a more perfect day to get flowers. For me, anyway.

This year, the fifth, has been the easiest of them all. TM (with whom I have reestablished a friendship) sent me flowers, and it was completely unexpected and greatly appreciated.


And the note.

He did good this time.

I was thinking about Hilary, Dade, Emily, and Troy last night. It’s been so long since I have had any contact with any of them, and I probably should make that more of a prioroity for the next year. They are good people, and I still appreciate their effort to contact me after the wreck. Who would have guessed that people on opposite ends of a wreck could become friends?