Posts tagged ‘Friends’

October 29, 2012

kim and jeromy.

Photo sessions with my friends are the absolute best. I feel comfortable with them; they feel comfortable with me. It always makes it so very easy to capture their personality. Laughs, smiles, all of it is easy.

With Kim and Jeromy, it was one of those days where we scheduled a shoot, but really I knew it would be more like we were hanging out – with a camera.

They are the cutest together, aren’t they? I love that they are so in love, and that they wanted me to capture it.

Kim’s sister, Jessica, also came, and we snapped a few of her and Kim together for her dad and grandparents’ Christmas presents.

Looking forward to more!

September 14, 2011

there you are!

Meet John.

John is one of my favorite people EVER. I met him at Craig Hospital after we were both injured. My car crash. His boat crash. And we became friends right away. It’s hard not to bond with people who are going through very similar situations, especially when you’re just down the hall from each other for 3 months.

He was one of the guys who were concerned and encouraging, and I think they all looked at me as the “little sister.” I was the only girl, and I had my own dynamic among the boys. As a group, we always laughed, and laughter is a powerful thing when things seem to be falling apart.

His family is awesome. His wife, Amie, and kiddos were regulars at Craig Hospital, of course. His youngest boy had a scooter, and the nurses weren’t too thrilled that he liked to ride it in the hallways. I never cared; he was a kid. Let him have some fun. And I remember the first day I saw his cousin. It was definitely a “wow” moment. (I can’t believe I had such a crush, ha!)

Over the years, John and I have kept in touch pretty regularly. There are times when we go a few months between phone calls, but when we do talk, it’s the same ole John. He still teases me, still asks about boyfriends, still wonders about my injury and any changes. He is one of those people I can talk to all day about being handicap, but never actually feel handicap around. There aren’t many people I can say that about. Maybe because he has been there for the entire “ride,” and we saw each other when we were new to this. Maybe because he understands that being normal is important to me. He gets me that way.

I am so glad I got to see him. I actually thought I was going to cry when I saw him walking up (he regained a lot of function post-injury, and you’d never realize just by looking at him that he was at one time in a wheelchair!). He looks so healthy and happy and tall and just John. Even his teasing about my lip ring was worth it.

I forgot how much I missed him.

sidenote:  He is also the one who always calls me “Little Carrie,” which led to the new “Dear little Carrie” series. So, thanks John.

June 7, 2011

pretty nice nonsense.

At work, we have weird conversations sometimes.  Deep conversations.  About things that I don’t talk about to other people, really, like my feelings (eek, ha) and direction in life and dreams and I want. Stuff that normally I keep to myself, or write here.

(I’m starting to think we breathe in too many chemicals or something. Ha.)

But these conversations always makes me think.

One thing we’ve spent quite a bit of time talking about is, of course, love. And marriage. And whether it’s all even worth it.  Mandy says yes.  She is the one who lives with her heart wide open, giving chances where Phil and I probably wouldn’t. She is the one who insists that if you don’t leave yourself somewhat vulnerable to love, you’ll miss out on something great when it comes along.

Phil says no way.  Leave your heart open and, bam, someone is going to crush you.  If you are single, you can do what you want and have fun doing it. So what, it’s a little lonely sometimes? At least you aren’t heartbroken, right?

I suppose I am in the middle.  I see both sides and sort of live in both sides too.  I’m probably the most guarded, most loving person you’ve ever met.  Confusing, I know, but so true.  If I find someone that I love, I am in wholeheartedly.  But getting there is the hard part.

I like talking about philosophies and listening to them debate too. They make me see things in ways that I hadn’t thought about before.  Not just love, life and hate and being vengeful and forgiving and everything. They make me stop and think.

I think they’re becoming my favorite part of my job.

March 9, 2011


I am honored to call this woman my friend. She is an amazing person, and she says it just how it is.

February 26, 2011

address in the stars.

Isn’t that just one of the most gut-wrenching songs you’ve ever heard?

I think so.

Every time I hear it, I think about Jake. And how sad it is that he isn’t here anymore. He had so many things he had left to do with life, but he won’t ever get the chance to get over this bump in his life. Sad.

It seems like anytime I ever think of a friend or family member who has died, I always go straight to what they are going to miss, the things they’ll never have the chance to do. Zack’s death really reinforced that “missing out on chance” feeling in me. I never took that chance. My fault. totally. My regret too.

The deaths of people around me who are so young and have such full and promising lives makes it so much more obvious that I need to be taking every opportunity and running with it. And making new opportunities. Taking chances so that there won’t be those regrets later.

December 17, 2010


“You always get all of my sunshine.”

How does he do that? How?! One sentence, and I’m butter.

It’s hard not to smile when you know someone far away is thinking of you, even if you haven’t seen each other for so long or hardly even talked. When you have a friend that close to your heart that it skips a little bit knowing they’re emailing for no reason other than just to say hi, it’s something.

Life gets busy. People grow up, but real friends are just the way they were when you last saw them. Real friends make you feel just as good far away as they could right next to you.

November 6, 2010

new baby!

Miss Mandy had the baby yesterday afternoon. I think I was asked by people at work at least 100 times throughout the day whether I had heard from her. And finally around 3 p.m., she texted me saying that she was a mommy of 4. I don’t yet have a picture of the little princess.

I am so happy for Mandy and her little family.

Here is to healthy babies and happy endings!

October 24, 2010


Congratulations to D-Rock and KB on their marriage this weekend. I don’t think I have ever in my life met two people who are meant for each other as much as these two are. True love at its finest, for sure!

October 16, 2010

ticking of time.

Thought a lot about Zack today, especially after I took this picture. It was about this time last year when I talked to him outside under that golden tree, and he laughed because he had scared me. Less than two months later he died. I hope he has as great of flares up there as I do here.

August 31, 2010

dearest readers,

if it makes you feel better–
I don’t know you
and I love you just the same.

We’ve communicated only through words
typed on our screens,
exchanging LOLs and blogs,
exposing vulnerable parts of ourselves.

I know only what you want me to.
Still I think I’d consider you a friend,
one I wish I could treat to morning coffee
and sugared laughs
over scrawled Moleskine pages full
of words and lines, feelings and tears,
edits and re-edits.

It’s easy to share
when what I share
is appreciated.

And it’s easy to read
when what you write
is real.

August 6, 2010

4:39 p.m.

My heart still beats
the same as the
last time I saw you,
waiting at that stop sign
while I waited at mine.

A casual wave in passing
and just like that,
gone again.

We became predictable
avoiding each other
as nicely as we’re able.

A smile, I have learned,
goes a long way
with fooling.

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July 17, 2010

30 Day Challenge: Day 9

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

+ Lindley. We have known each other since we were 5 years old. My first real friend. We used to be really close, and over the past few years, we see less of each other and talk less too. I know that that is what happens when you get older. People change and drift apart. I think that is really the only way to explain how we are right now. I still love him and think he is a good person and good friend. Our lives have just taken somewhat different paths, and we have found other friends that fit better and closer. When we do see each other when our mutual group of friends gets together, we always laugh and catch up.

This is at our winter formal during our senior year of high school. We had such fun that night.

June 25, 2010

since you’ve left.

I do my best thinking
in the dark
away from lights and distractions
where my heart can be calm
and remind itself what remains dear
without drama or pretense.

With black all around
I can be myself
and hide the tears
if they should force themselves up.
No need to hide my face here.

In the dark
I do my best thinking
and mostly I think
of you.

And just how I miss you
and the mystery that you held
clear up until the very day
you died.

I have never missed
a friendship that was quite as quiet
as what we shared.

Still, it is here
and you are not.

June 18, 2010

california boy.

I love the Kansas sky tonight,
golden orange and overexposed,
littered by few clouds.

I love this humid wind
and grass fully green.

I love the simplicity seen everywhere.

I really do love this Kansas sky,
but I miss my California boy

and his sincere smile.

June 8, 2010

i should try not to be so tough.

That smile is genuine.
That smile is for you.
That smile is because of you.

That smiles sort of says it all.

May 28, 2010


All this time I thought
there was something adventurous
about you,
exotic even,
or the opposite of exotic.
tattooed up and down
bike-riding fool.

That appealing thrill,
the burst of excitement
of even being around you,
left as soon as
I met a dozen other fools
just like you.

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May 21, 2010

creativity stunted.

I read a post recently in the Google Reader about creativity, and the lack of “real” friends that this person shared such interests with. I honestly don’t remember who wrote it (wish I did!), but I remember saying “Oh man, that’s exactly how I feel!”

I sometimes feel so alone in creativity in real life. Sure, I have friends who are photographers and painters and artists and poets. They’re super talented people, but it never really comes up in conversation that often. I think half of the problem is just that: the conversation isn’t right. Or the setting. It’s hard to have a really intelligent conversation about projects at a bar with blithering drunks around. I need to change settings with these people. (Not that the only place we go is to bars, but you get the idea.)

So that’s a goal to add to my list. More creativity with REAL people. Don’t get me wrong. Some of the most creative, inspiring people have made their way into my life (and heart) through the internet. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I need some real words, real conversations, real hands-on show-me-what-you’re-working-on type of things too. I’m going to make it a point to get it out there, into whatever we’re talking about.

I’m gonna be pushy for once! Watch out!

May 14, 2010


We were young,
and I don’t remember a thing
we ever worried about.

We spent our time
picking teams and playing kickball,
butterflies among those boys.

Everything was okay then
in the sun.

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May 3, 2010

meet: brostie.

This boy is hilarious. When he’s not being crazy anyway.

I met him when we were in a high school psychology class. I was a sophomore, and he was a senior. He always came in late, when he showed up at all, and I think he managed to copy off of everyone’s paper at some point that semester. We became good friends over those few months. On Valentine’s Day that year, he walked through the packed halls with a HUGE teddy bear and managed to make me blush. I’ll never forget that probably. He was sweet, and sometimes, he was way too much, way too crazy.

In the past two years or so, we’ve lost contact with each other, and I didn’t even realize how much I missed him until I rolled into the Rooster Tail Saturday night. I barely got through the door before someone yelled “CARRIE!” from across the bar. We spent the night laughing at old times, and I finally got to meet his fianceè Dawn and see pictures of their daughters. It was like we just saw each other yesterday.

I haven’t ever seen him so happy, or so calm, and that was the best part.

February 4, 2010

Happy birthday, Darcy.

Sometimes I forget to tell you
the little things that you might need to hear,
the ones I’m not very good at saying,
like I don’t really mind being compared to you,
or how I always know my secrets
are safe with you.

Thank you for rescuing me
when I’m crying too hard to breathe,
believing in me and my dreams,
even when no one else will,
and laughing when my crazy comes out.

You always encourage me
to go for what I want,
and just want me to be happy.

Even in our occasional fights,
we always emerge stronger
and better friends than before.

I’ve only been lucky enough
to have one sister,
and I am glad she is you.

happy birthday! I love you.

January 29, 2010


Even though you can’t really tell by the picture, I’ve been sick. Coughing, sneezing, cold, hot, runny nose, half-way voice, headache. Oh, it sucks. I just want to breathe normal again. In the meantime, I have been spending my time watching tv (MTV reruns mostly), reading All the King’s Men, writing, and attempting to keep myself warm (or cool depending on what my body temperature is craving at that moment).

Something about being sick makes me so emotional. I think it’s just the helpless feeling that there’s nothing that can make it go faster. I just have to sit and wait it out, which I don’t have time for. Waiting and being sick are exhausting, and putting the two together, well, it’s just not my thing. Anything could make me cry, and that certainly doesn’t help any. Getting mad only makes the headache worse. The only plus would be that it makes me want to put words on paper.

What could make it better? Yep, flowers. My good friend Ronnie, who I have known since we were about 13, brought me flowers yesterday afternoon. How sweet of him! There are times when we go weeks without seeing each other, but other times we talk every day and hang out as much as we can. It’s been that way lately. I think I have talked to him more than anyone else. We have our code-red-I-need-to-talk conversations and laughing-til-we-cry conversations too. It’s rare to find a guy friend that cries around me, but he does. He’s a big ole crybaby when he’s having a hard day, and I completely love him for it.

January 25, 2010

be soft today.

If it only takes
an encouraging word,
a thought or a hug,
to make my friends feel better
about themselves and life,
then that is what I’ll give.

It never takes much
to make it easier.

July 20, 2009

oh yes, we’re gonna dance!

It was a wonderful weekend. Truly one of the best weekends of my life. Friday night was Travis’ birthday and we celebrated at Sharkey’s (of course). On Saturday, Maria and I went to Fiesta Mexicana, and it reminded me of when we were in high school and went every single night that it was going on. Well, except that we were both old enough to drink this time. And we did.

We mostly hung out with Chris and Brandon, but we also stopped by Benny’s house to hang with that group of friends. I wish everyone could experience the Fiesta because it’s a neighborhood party that turns into a huge reunion. I know a lot of people who go for the food, but for anyone with ties to the Our Lady school or church–or anyone who lives in the Fiesta neighborhood, it’s a whole different atmosphere. It’s crazy. It’s a huge party, where you’re bouncing from house to house because you just know everyone. Everyone is friendly, and if you’re ready to have a good time, so are they. I have met most of them before, since Maria and I were practically attached at the hip for our sophomore year, but the ones who didn’t acted like they did. That’s just the type of people they are.

I am looking forward to many more weekends like this one. And far more incriminating pictures. I have a feeling that if we hang out with these guys, we will definitely get both.

Santi, Chris, Maria, and Brandon. I love it.

Maria and I.

June 21, 2009

big bad carrie?

I’m not a mean person. I think that anyone who reads this blog probably knows that. If anything, I am too sensitive and emotional. But mean is just not an adjective that people regularly use for me.

Last night, though, may have changed that in some people’s minds, and honestly I don’t care. There are certain things that I am very stubborn about, and one of them is being carried up and down stairs. I don’t like it. It’s no secret. A few stairs is doable, 50 stairs. 50 stairs? No. HELL no. I don’t care if I only weigh 105 and can be carried easily or whatever.

I went to Nicol and Bobby’s wedding reception, knowing that I’d only be staying for a few minutes because the party was on the third floor of the venue. I just wanted to stop in, say hi and congratulations, and leave. I have known these people–and most of the guests–since early childhood, but still, I wouldn’t consider them my closest group of friends. In fact, I probably get along with them the least because I have known them for so long. I know all the things that annoy me about them.

Well, anyway, around 15-20 guys were all trying to convince me to get carried up these 2 flights of carpeted stairs. I knew it wasn’t going to happen, and the more they asked, the madder I became. Finally, I had to get snappy and tell them that they were pissing me off. I used more choice words and definitely a mean tone, but I got the point across. I just don’t like being asked again and again the same thing because somehow they are convinced I’ll change my mind. No, it wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t going to be stranded on the third floor of this bar while everyone who carried me up was getting too drunk to carry me back down. I’m paralyzed, not dumb. Plus, stairs just scare me–obviously a part of my control issue.

Finally, Darcy came down and rescued me from the morons. I know the guys all think I was being a bitch, and it doesn’t matter to me what they think. They aren’t in my position.

I don’t like not being listened to. I know they were just trying to convince me to come up and have a good time too, but when I said no after about the 20th time, you would think they could catch the drift that I wasn’t budging on the issue.

Also, I’ve been in the process, I’ve realized, where I notice my friends I thought were so great really aren’t so great after all. I could give you a list of people I now see full of selfishness, but the list of people who don’t have that is much shorter. It’s a little sad to see people I once cared about show their true colors and lose my respect.

I think I am retreating again, into my hermit stage, and just going to stay home on my weekends or hang out with Maria, the one person who i have learned I can truly count on for everything. And at least she knows I’m not mean.


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March 27, 2009


–Making to-do lists makes me stressed out. Visually seeing all that needs to be done is too much.

–Greg and Chris’ funeral is on Monday, and I don’t think I have dreaded a trip to the church quite like I am dreading this one.

–KU better win tonight, or I might scream.

–I should be spending more of my time reading leisurely rather than playing Scramble on Facebook, but it’s so addicting!

–I love the jasmine thai tea candle my mom bought me today. Love, love, love.

–Cap and gown have been purchased and are anxiously awaiting the big day as much as I am.

–I am learning to be better organized. Or less messy. One of the two.

–In hoping that he would change his mind about me, I changed mine about him.

–Watermelon Ring Pops make almost everything better.