Posts tagged ‘list’

March 19, 2013

I am allowed.

IMG_5336I am allowed to have weak moments and cry for no reason.
I am allowed to be happy too.
I am allowed to lazy and hang out in my PJs all day.
I am allowed to want.
I am allowed to allowed to be angry.
I am allowed to feel beautiful.
I am allowed to hold big dreams in the palms of my hands & not know what to do with them.
I am allowed to change, if the changes are for the good.
I am allowed to allowed to display my inner nerd at times.
I am allowed to make my own decisions.
I am allowed to be by myself in the quiet for a while.
I am allowed to feel worthy.
I am allowed to love. And be loved. With all of my heart.

February 8, 2013

life is rolling.


Oh, it’s been busy lately. Work has been crazy (thanks to month-end reports and safety orientations and respiratory training) and the wedding planning has gone from busy to overload. But, I think it’s under control too. How that works I don’t know. It’s gonna be great. 78 days.

To add worry to busy, I burned my arm on the stove while trying to cook macaroni and cheese. Sigh. Macaroni and cheese. Not just a little red mark or a blister either, a full-out skin-peeled-off 2nd degree burn. My doctor even said so. I can’t feel it because it’s in that weird zone, where my injury masks any feeling, temperature or pain. I can’t feel it. It looks bad, so I know it hurts. The prescription is working, and it is already looking better.

TODAY: I am looking forward to the weekend. Hanging with the gang and maybe some Wildcat riding to get the adrenaline going. And probably some wedding invitation prepping. It’s gonna be a good one. Loves!

February 3, 2013

today I am.

loving: How happy I am. It’s been an incredible week, and I am just happy.
reading: Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte.
listening to: Gary Allan on Spotify. I love Spotify.
eating: nothing. I need to go to the store and stock up on avocadoes. Looking for more weight gain this week.
drinking: water. Tons of it. I am feeling slightly dehydrated for some reason.
planning: registry lists.
missing: my boy an incredible amount.
enjoying: hearing the little girls in the next room play games on my iPad.
craving: tea. I really want some good flavored tea.
seeing: a mess of pictures and wedding decor stuff.
wishing: next weekend was here. It’s going to be a long week at work.

January 31, 2013

goodbye January.

January was busy, much busier than most normal months, and those seem to be busy enough. I managed to get a lot of the loose ends of the wedding squared away, and I also managed to get some time to myself. It was great all around.

Favorites of January:

+ cinnamon roll coffee
+ wedding planning
+ sleeping til 11 on Sundays
+ babysitting for the tiny ones
+ playing Hedbandz with Darcy and Jeremy and Greg
+ new Moleskine
+ spending time with my camera (I needed that)
+ blog planning
+ having a good audit
+ photos with Greg
+ gaining a few pounds
+ new clothes
+ lace

January 5, 2013

my wishes.

+ I wish for motivation. I am going to get the wedding done on time!

+ I wish for patience. I have to learn to go by other people’s schedules rather than only my own.

+ I wish for courage. With so many changes happening, I am going to have to get used to being brave.

+ I wish for memories. April is going to be full of so many reasons to be happy.

+ I wish for fun, to relax and fill every moment with happiness.

+ I wish for simplicity. I want to center my life around the essential people and things that I want to be a part of my future.

+ I wish for sunshine. Because sunshine makes everything better.

+ I wish for creativity. I want to crank out ideas and decide which ones I want to make available to others.

+ I wish for laughs. I love laughs.

+ I wish for inspiration. By the end of the year I will be feeling dry of ideas. I’ll need as much help as I can get.

+ I wish for understanding. I am going to be making big changes, ones that will be hard for me at first, so I am hoping for understanding on everyone else’s part.

+ I wish for comfort. Holidays and comfort go hand-in-hand.

December 31, 2012

goodbye 2012.

You were good to me. You had some rough patches and sad days and you took a few swipes at our strength, but you taught us things that otherwise we wouldn’t have learned and made us appreciate things we wouldn’t have appreciated. You made us look around and think “Yes, I can do this.”

Favorite things about 2012:
+ Project Life
+ Engagement
+ Lake weekends
+ Colorado
+ Arctic Cat
+ Quiet days of writing
+ Love























Looking forward to 2013!

November 22, 2012

happy day.

Thankful lists seem to be the same every year and very similar across so many people’s blogs too. And really, we should show we are thankful more than one day a year, but of course, some people always need a reminder. This year I can add to my list because I gained a lot over the past 12 months. A whole nother family in fact.

So here’s to spending the day with some of my favorite people. I am hoping for laughs and stories and full bellies by the end of the day.

+ My friends-even when I don’t see them, they are there.
+ My family. We may not always get along, but when it’s needed, we are there. And Greg’s family because they’re so accepting.
+ Another year to be thankful. It hasn’t been the easiest few weeks, but we are getting through making the best of the days that we have.
+ Greg. Duh.
+ My job-even when it is overwhelming and I hate it.

November 15, 2012

life in squares.

1.  Our RSVPs for the wedding. Bright and simple, but still elegant too. I love the way they turned out.

2.  Self portrait at work after a big lunch and exhausting morning.

3.  Riding on the old lake bed. Fun and bumpy.

4.  Lists have been dominating my life lately, it seems. And none of them are really getting checked off as they should be. I guess I’m in a little bit of a rut.


October 22, 2012

today i am.

+ having the ramp on the van serviced before winter.
+ eating donuts and drinking coffee.
+ blogging (not a surprise).
+ editing pictures from yesterday’s shoot.
+ journaling. My Moleskine misses me.
+ picking up invite supplies.
+ enjoying ME time.
+ dusting off my camera.
+ making more to-do lists for the wedding.
+ forgetting stress that suffocated me last week.

September 8, 2012

weekend plans.

+ Clean up the land.
+ Instagram the whole thing.
+ Take lots of pictures to show you all the progress being made.
+ Relax.

August 16, 2012


+ Denver trip is soon. I am halfway looking forward to it, halfway dreading it. Doctors are not my favorite. Hard beds that aren’t my own are definitely not my favorite, but I am excited to get measured for a new chair.

+ Stamps. I am sort of addicted to designing my own. So easy and so much of just what I want. Love that process.

+ Project Life continues to keep my attention. I don’t think I have kept up and kept interest in something like this in quite a long time. I am already noticing things I want to make consistent next year.

+ Seriously considering doing portrait shoot as a very small side business. Fun? Or stress? I can’t decide. The Fire Starter Sessions is getting me a little bit pumped, just to see what happens.

+ I’m having a hard time believing that school is ready to start again. It feels too early. I am so off since I don’t have a school schedule of my own anymore.

August 3, 2012

today i am…

I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I need to stop worrying about what needs to be checked off the to-do lists, and I need to breathe.

So today I am…

+ nursing myself back to normalcy after too many shots last night.
+ taking pictures with my new lens. I love it, and I love that Greg knows me well enough to know it would be a perfect gift. (I love you, babe!)
+ reading The Night Circus.
+ indulging in sweet treats and flavored coffee.
+ planning blog posts.
+ plotting my next wedding goal. One thing at a time is working well.
+ writing in my journal. So. Need. This.
+ enjoying the immense quiet.
+ soaking up all the good things. Life is hectic and happy.

August 1, 2012

august goals.

+ find a caterer and book them.
+ dress shopping.
+ finish The Night Circus.
+ frame a Script School print of my own.
+ take a ME day.
+ get measurements for a new chair.
+ guest list.
+ take. photos. of. everything. <3

July 20, 2012

weekend plans.

+ hang out with my G. Maybe on the boat?
+ read The Night Circus.
+ stay cool. This heat is beyond ridiculous.
+ get blog posts ready for the week.
+ Script School. More about it later.
+ baby my wheelchair. The stress over this thing is overwhelming me.
+ design a print form for an upcoming team shoot.

July 7, 2012


I am:
+ hanging out with my boy. Probably shooting some guns.
+ hoping for rain. A week long downpour in fact.
+ going to sign up for Spotify. Cool app for music lovers.
+ thankful for new big hair clips.
+ smiling because the week is OVER. Stress-free for 2 days.

May 25, 2012

tiny thoughts today.

+ Happy 5th birthday to Miss Makinna. I can’t believe how time has flown so fast.

+ April 27 looks like it will be THE DAY. Now to find THE PLACE.

+ Lake weekend with my boy. Hoping for a lot of fun and a little bit of color.

May 17, 2012


+ I haven’t had much poetry up lately, but be looking for some soon. There are really only so many ways to say that I am blissfully happy.

+ This rest of this week/weekend are going to be so crazy busy. Graduations galore. I am tired already, just thinking about it.

+ Work has been better. People have backed off, and I have learned to not take on more than I am being paid to do.

+ I am ready for just one night of sleep without a nightmare. Does this happen often when people are slightly stressed or have a major life happening? I could really go for a good dream.

+ No wedding date set yet, but since my cousin Brooke is getting married March 16, 2013, I am guessing we’ll go for April sometime. <3 Don't worry, this blog will be up on all the plans as they go.

+ p.s. I’m sorry in advance for all the lovey dovey crazy happy posts that are sure to be in the future. :)

April 29, 2012

weekend recap.

+ My Friday nights are becoming predictable. TV and then going to bed early. Is this what becoming an adult is like?

+ Greg and I went to Mount Vernon, MO to see Angel, who was injured in April. Our first little road trip together. 6 hours both ways and somehow we were still getting along when we got back. haha. ;) It was a good trip. Angel seems to be doing really well and is one of those people who you can tell will be just fine. Paralysis doesn’t have to be the end of it all.

+ St. Louis got hammered with hail, and Greg is heading out tomorrow for work there. It will be odd to not see him for an entire week. Thankfully, it’s only 4 hours away and not 10 hours or something crazy like that. <3

+ Rain, rain, and more rain. It's dreary and tiring. I need a nap.

April 19, 2012

easy vs hard

Just looking for the silver lining lately.

Sometimes that is all I can do.

EASY: The actual day compared to my expectations.
HARD: The month leading up to 4-26.

EASY: Getting a new tattoo.
HARD: Getting used to seeing it everyday.

EASY: Feeling responsible.
HARD: Making the hard adult decisions.

EASY: Getting behind.
HARD: Working productively in a disaster area of an office.

EASY: Being in love.
HARD: Being an hour away from love all the time.

February 29, 2012

goodbye february.

February was a sweet month. A longer February than most (yay leap year) but fast even so. I feel like I accomplished a lot, but looking back, I mostly accomplished relaxing. Learning that every minute does not have to be spent doing something super productive. My body (and my whole heart) needed those moments when doing nothing was enough. I hope that continues into next month because frankly, I’m tired and need some relaxing. Maybe some decent sleep too.

February was:
+ hanging with Greg.
+ Darcy and Lindsay’s birthdays.
+ Lonnie Q’s BBQ and Los Portales lunches. Yum.
+ DIY projects.
+ baby talk with Layla.
+ work, work, work.
+ Rockstar to keep me going.
+ new Moleskine.
+ homemade waffles.
+ cinnamon rolls at work.
+ Project Life.

February 6, 2012


Today I am carrying over what is left from yesterday (and the day before) and hoping that the entire feeling can last all week. Calm and fun and comfortable and, somehow, whole.

Today I am clinging to the hope that love like this does last forever because this almost feels too good to be entirely true. He is amazing.

Today I am drowning in confidence. A man who knows how to make a woman feel sexy without even saying it is worth keeping. Again, he is amazing.

Today I am contemplating deleting my Facebook. I feel like it is clouding my days and has taken precedence over other things that are more important. At the very least, it is coming off my phone.

Today I am taking a much-needed day off. The van has to be serviced in KC, but other than that, I just need a day with quiet and my book and journal and maybe some coffee.

Today I am making plans. For what, I’m not sure. It just feels like a good day to make a long list of what needs to be done, be said, and to get my butt moving in whatever direction I need to go.

January 31, 2012

goodbye january.

January was a good month. It was full of laughs and love and a little bit of stress too. I managed to get a few important things done and make a lot of memories in just 31 days. It was good, and I hope it sets the tone for the rest of 2012.

Favorite things about January:
+ Waking up to 2012 with someone who loves me.
+ Feeling good about gaining weight.
+ New planner. New start.
+ Audit at work = done. And it went really well!
+ Flowers at work to cheer me up during the audit. Sigh.
+ KU win over K-State.
+ Haircut! The do was getting crazy frizzy.
+ Nuclear Cowboyz in KC with some of my favorite people.
+ Beauty and the Beast 3D with Ashley and the girls. They had so much fun.
+ Finally watched Limitless. Bradley Cooper!
+ Took much-needed time off to hang out with Raelyn.
+ Watercolors.
+ Sherlock Holmes with my boy.
+ New filing cabinet at work. It’s the little things.
+ Lots of stuff caught up at work. I’ve been a busy bee.
+ Walmart/Barnes & Noble date. Perfect.
+ Red Lyon adventures with the crew from work.
+ New poetry. It was sporadic but felt so good.
+ Making plans.

December 31, 2011

goodbye 2011.

2011 was a good year. It had its up and downs, but it was definitely not the worst. I do think it felt like one of the fastest years of my life. Where did all that time go? Is that why I feel like I haven’t actually been able to breathe? No time for breathing when life is happening and people are more important than counting minutes. 2011 was good, but I am looking forward to toasting to 2012 tonight.

I have changed a lot this year. I have grown and realized that I can’t be the person I want to be by holding myself back. Being assertive was always hard for me, but I can see that part of myself now. And I am proud. I hope I can continue that.

2011 was this:

+ A land purchase. Big leap.
+ Layla and Hailey were born.
+ Being hired permanently.
+ Surgery. Pain. Healing.
+ McDreamy moment. So embarrassing.
+ iPad. That thing is still amazing.
+ 4th of July family reunion. So fun and crazy.
+ Lost 2 friends, Mark and Jake. Sad.
+ Forgave and forgot.
+ Rapping Super Bass in the van by myself.
+ Becoming a Pinterest addict.
+ Date nights.
+ Birthday walks home from the bar.
+ Weller’s Thirsty Thursday nights.
+ Lonnie Q’s BBQ for lunch.
+ Twisted Christmas at The Midland.
+ Quiet afternoons in my office. Only me and my iPod.
+ Achy fingers HATE. hate. HATE.
+ Adele music. Love.
+ Cutting negativity out.
+ Laughing with long lost friends.
+ Gaining weight. 6 whole pounds.
+ KU shoes.
+ Finding a guy worth keeping. FINALLY.
+ DIY projects. Another addiction.
+ Gaining responsibility at work.
+ Christmas love.

September 2, 2011

simple pleasures.

+ A good book
+ Iced coffee
+ Sharpie pens
+ Sleeping in
+ Lightning at night
+ Sweet text messages
+ Lunch dates with friends
+ A new Moleskine journal
+ Dreams that feel so real
+ Inside jokes
+ Bokeh/depth of field photography
+ Strawberry Chapstick
+ Quick-drying nail polish
+ Clear, breezy nights
+ Soft songs
+ Conversations in the dark
+ Laughing
+ Blueberry muffins
+ DIY projects

August 31, 2011

goodbye august.

+ I loved turning 26. Weird, I know.
+ I loved flowers and balloons from my friends/family.
+ I loved the mountains. So much inspiration and cleansing for my jumbled-up soul.
+ I loved the plum crazy eyeshadow from Kristi. Made me feel sex-ay!
+ I loved the photo opportunities. I never get to be the one who someone else photographs.
+ I loved showing everyone that I have gained the weight I’ve been trying to….and keeping it on.
+ I loved seeing old friends after 4+ years….and knowing nothing has changed.
+ I loved hearing that it is okay to ask for help when I (might) need it.
+ I loved being permanently employed.
+ I loved being back in my own bed after a week out of town.
+ I loved seeing my friends so happy in their lives.
+ I loved baby Hailie being born on my birthday! Nothing could have been more exciting.