life around here.

Life around here has been non-stop stress for the past two weeks. Between finding out about Dad’s cancer and work, I’m finishing up the little things for the wedding that is happening in ONE WEEK. I cannot believe it is here already. The jars have been tied with lace ribbon, and I finally picked out a pretty pale pink nail polish. The little details.

Dad is doing a little better. He started radiation on Thursday and is handling it well. No nausea (knock on wood) and no headaches. He has a better appetite, and we are pretty sure we have his pain under control. It’s still up in the air as to how things will go when he gets further into the radiation and then chemo, but we are hopeful that things will stay calm and there will be no setbacks.

If things get quiet around here for a while, don’t be alarmed. Greg will probably be going to Indianapolis sometime after our wedding for work (hail!) so I am going to soak up as many minutes with him as I can. I will be back eventually.

Love.

raelyn.

This little girl. She is a riot. She is stubborn and ridiculously funny, and she is definitely not afraid to tell you exactly what she thinks or how something should be done. She is strong.

And she was not exactly keen on having her picture taken. But hey, Aunt Carrie is strong and stubborn too.

come on, spring.

I miss the way a photo can make me feel at peace, pulling a softness over my brazen heart and singing it back to the place where things, small and big, are put back into squares or perspective.

When unimportant things somehow become priority, other things are lost. My photography, my soul’s simple way of telling a story through my favorite aperture blur, has for too long been ignored, in the most devastating way. So many times I have intended to hook my camera around my neck and head toward the sunshine I love so much, and so many times, I do not. I feel stationary.

It’s beginning to be taxing on me, my heart. I forgot, or perhaps never paid attention to how much my creativity, or lack thereof, directly influences my mood, and in turn, all other things in my life.

With spring coming, I can taste the soothing light that will finally calm the photo itch.

And I welcome it, smiling.
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snow day.

listening to: The Civil Wars. I cannot get enough.
wishing: 6 weeks would fly by so my sister was back at work with me.
drinking: warm blueberry tea.
eating: gummy fruit snacks.
wearing: pajamas. Snow day = comfy clothes day.
reading: Death Comes to Pemberley by P.D. James.
enjoying: a lazy day off of work. It’s the good thing about deep snow. the only good thing.
loving: ranunculus (such pretty paper-looking flowers).
wanting: ice cream. Weird since it is so cold.
working on: wedding invites. Almost completely done. Seems like this process has taken a lot more time than I imagined.
admiring: how tough and resilient my sister is. She must take after me.

lately.

life is rolling.

Oh, it’s been busy lately. Work has been crazy (thanks to month-end reports and safety orientations and respiratory training) and the wedding planning has gone from busy to overload. But, I think it’s under control too. How that works I don’t know. It’s gonna be great. 78 days.

To add worry to busy, I burned my arm on the stove while trying to cook macaroni and cheese. Sigh. Macaroni and cheese. Not just a little red mark or a blister either, a full-out skin-peeled-off 2nd degree burn. My doctor even said so. I can’t feel it because it’s in that weird zone, where my injury masks any feeling, temperature or pain. I can’t feel it. It looks bad, so I know it hurts. The prescription is working, and it is already looking better.

TODAY: I am looking forward to the weekend. Hanging with the gang and maybe some Wildcat riding to get the adrenaline going. And probably some wedding invitation prepping. It’s gonna be a good one. Loves!

day in the life: january 31

This was my first ever attempt at Day in the Life, and I have to admit that it made me realize just how boring my weekday routine has become. Boring and exhausting and lacking of ambition somehow. I am looking forward to changing that in the coming months, when married life brings new things to do on a daily basis.

Here are a few pictures from the day:

today I am.

loving: How happy I am. It’s been an incredible week, and I am just happy.
reading: Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte.
listening to: Gary Allan on Spotify. I love Spotify.
eating: nothing. I need to go to the store and stock up on avocadoes. Looking for more weight gain this week.
drinking: water. Tons of it. I am feeling slightly dehydrated for some reason.
planning: registry lists.
missing: my boy an incredible amount.
enjoying: hearing the little girls in the next room play games on my iPad.
craving: tea. I really want some good flavored tea.
seeing: a mess of pictures and wedding decor stuff.
wishing: next weekend was here. It’s going to be a long week at work.

lately.

Life has been crazy busy. While I’ve been living and breathing wedding planning, I’m trying to get used to driving this new chair, which is easier said than done. It’s a few inches wider than my other one, and it screws me up. I had crashed more than once into door jams. Woops.

I’m getting super serious about gaining weight (again) too. I bought some good protein drinks, plus a lot of stuff to eat throughout the day. Not necessarily bad stuff, avocados and pasta mostly. And ice cream. Mmhmm.

on being engaged.

I love being engaged.

I love people looking at us and thinking “Ah, they are so in love.” (I’m looking at you, Jim.) Because we are. I love people knowing that.

I am going to be a little sad when all the planning becomes real, and it is over. Not sad in a depressed way, just sad like we are closing that part of our relationship. I am so excited to open the MARRIED part though. To start a different kind of planning (the house and babies). To start life together.

Being engaged makes me feel a little like Cinderella. Everyone ask questions and wants to know the details. It seems like a wedding piques interest on a whole different level. It’s fun to gush over some things (invitations that I have still found myself smitten with) and hard to keep others hidden (the dress. I want to show you so bad, but I want even more for it to be a surprise). I am getting into high gear with things and am determined to have every single thing ready on 4-27-13. It’s work, but it’s so fun. I need a few extra hours in my day, but thankfully I have a flexible job that allows for some planning on breaks.

Being engaged is my favorite, but I can’t wait till I’m a wife.

kendall turns 6.

This pretty little thing turned 6 last Saturday, and she was loving it.

She had a very pretty pink party on Sunday, and it was fun. Sandra made the huge tissue paper flowers (attached to sticks from the yard), and Payden made the pink strawberry double-layer Hello Kitty cake. She even made her own fondant.

Here’s to turning 6!

goodbye 2012.

You were good to me. You had some rough patches and sad days and you took a few swipes at our strength, but you taught us things that otherwise we wouldn’t have learned and made us appreciate things we wouldn’t have appreciated. You made us look around and think “Yes, I can do this.”

Favorite things about 2012:
+ Project Life
+ Engagement
+ Lake weekends
+ Colorado
+ Arctic Cat
+ Quiet days of writing
+ Love

Looking forward to 2013!

merry christmas.

Christmas is here!

Today: I’ll be at Grant and Shannon’s house to celebrate with Greg’s family. Looking forward to many, many laughs. I hope you all have somewhere safe and warm to spend your holiday with family.

craig at christmas.

Raelyn’s birthday party

Raelyn’s birthday is next week, but her party was Thursday at Going Bonkers. That place is a kid heaven. Arcade games and a big jungle gym type set up to play. Plus pizza and ice cream and bright colors everywhere.

Fun. I was surprised that it wasn’t busier even though it was a school night. Surprised and relieved. I don’t like feeling like I might accidentally run over little toes.

december daily

This is a fun book. Quick and easy, and I really like that I want it to be messy. I see so many beautiful DD books online, and I just can’t do that. Mine needs to be messy, and the pictures need to be a little bit crooked to truly be ME.

For as much as I like simplicity and organization, it doesn’t make much sense, I know.

My only problem with the daily thing is that my days are quite a lot the same, especially during the week. I go to work, come home, and mess around til its time for me to crash. I’m so boring. Trying to find the one thing in the everyday that is different is going to be my challenge.

life in squares: on the farm

We spent our Sunday afternoon at Tim’s house for Caleb and Payden’s birthday party, and then for some gun-shooting down by the pond (or mud puddle as it should be called lately). We always have such fun times when we’re shooting. Laughing and cutting up with each other. I love it. And I’m getting pretty good at shooting too.

Since winter is coming, there won’t be many more shooting sessions this year, unless the weather stays crazy weird and warm like it has been. I mean, 70s in December? I don’t get it.

lately.

Besides having a good anniversary, life has been hectic, tiring, messy, overworked. But looking up.I managed to get some of our Christmas cards ready. I am pretty excited at how simply simple they are, but how fantastic and clean they turned out. A little bit of wash goes a long way.I printed and folded thank you cards for Genny and Jim and Jesse. Again, simplicity is beautiful.I have been wearing almost no makeup to work lately, and it feels so liberating. Moisturizer and mascara (sometimes) and off I go. I am learning to let go of what others think of me, which isn’t exactly an easy thing to do when it’s engrained in me. The People Pleaser thing gets in the way of the weirdest things sometimes.

year one.

We have had so many good things happen for us since last year (and a few horribly bad ones), and I wouldn’t trade him for the world and all the stars in the sky. He supports me and sincerely cares about the happiness that stands between us. He is encouraging and sympathetic and seems to know how I feel before I have to say anything.
We are good for each other, and we’ve managed to make the best of ourselves available for the other. I love that. In just 5 months, we’ll be married, and we can start life as a family, one with the same last name.
I can’t wait to spend many more years celebrating with him and creating new memories along the way.

silent sunday.

halloween filler.

So I know Halloween was almost a week ago, and everyone is probably Halloweened out, but I am posting late as a “filler” for the day.

Jesse’s service will be this evening, and this is all the effort I can muster for the day. Everything else will be saved for being strong for Greg and his family.

Enjoy the pics of the little kiddies…in all their Halloween glory.

happy first birthday, layla.

At this time last year, we were ooh-ing and ash-ing over new baby Layla. This year, we are chasing her around and keeping stuff out of her mouth.

She is sweet and ornery, and yesterday was her birthday. She laughed and played and cuddled her new baby dolls while the other kids waited for her to move on to the next present.

looking.

I have shot mainly “couple” shoots lately, and thought it is always fun to shoot portraits, my camera has been lonely otherwise.

Besides being busy, I was a little out of inspiration in the visual field, dried up like the leaves, dusty and ready for a new season. Everything seemed so blah and not really worthy of the space it would take up on my disk.

Then, I came across Shutter Sisters again, a blog of women who circulate posts with beautiful photography and soft, often encouraging, words. There are so many different subjects, different perspectives, and different places in each of their lives. It was like a breath of fresh air, like looking at the pictures that have collected on their blog over the past year gave me the reminder that I need to look at things more patiently. I’m in too much of a hurry, with too many things going on. I need to slow down. I need take the time to appreciate the things around me, see their worth instead of passing over them so quickly, trying to check whatever the next thing is on the list.

With a new fresh outlook on photography, SS also lit up a little inspiration for writing. I’ve written more in my journal over the past week than I have in the past few months, and that is always a good feeling.

I feel recharged, and with the holidays coming, I might need it.

kim and jeromy.

Photo sessions with my friends are the absolute best. I feel comfortable with them; they feel comfortable with me. It always makes it so very easy to capture their personality. Laughs, smiles, all of it is easy.

With Kim and Jeromy, it was one of those days where we scheduled a shoot, but really I knew it would be more like we were hanging out – with a camera.

They are the cutest together, aren’t they? I love that they are so in love, and that they wanted me to capture it.

Kim’s sister, Jessica, also came, and we snapped a few of her and Kim together for her dad and grandparents’ Christmas presents.

Looking forward to more!

fifty shades done.

These books were…interesting. Slightly inappropriate (if you read one sex scene in them, you’ve read them all). I wasn’t blown away like some women have said they were. The storyline was good, even exciting at times, but it wasn’t an overly scholarly book. I don’t guess that scholarly is what the author was going for though. *smirk*

I am glad I read them. Otherwise, it would nag me that I missed out on a set of books that was so hyped up. Now that I am done, I am looking forward to moving on to a book that better suits my taste. I probably should lay off the reading altogether and get these wedding plans swinging into full gear (slight panic mode).

Fifty Shades. Would I recommend? Yes, for the sole fact that you can see firsthand that it’s not some kind of bookporn that it is portrayed to be.