Posts tagged ‘relaxing’

March 13, 2009

Best part of my day.

It has taken me a long time to understand the importance of pampering yourself, and how wonderfully it is to be relaxed when the rest of the world is running around crazy. Today is that day of relaxation for me. Granted, the things that I find relaxing are things that people might consider chores, like cooking (awesome pepperoni breadsticks again!), reading, blogging, and cleaning.

I have been under a lot of pressure lately, but I need a break. I am making it a point to keep a day–or even a half a day each week for myself. So far, it’s going well and I don’t feel as overwhelmed with things. I keep thinking “What good is anything if you don’t have someone who supports or cares about it too?” It’s kind of a vague question, but to me, it makes perfect sense. Everyone gets so caught up in work and everyday worries that they really neglect the relationships that they have, even the most important ones. I don’t want to be one of those people. I want my relationships to be first because I really wouldn’t be where I am without these people around me. Part of my relaxation time is including more time, quality time, with the people who matter the most. It’s important and is a huge priority that should have been at the top of my list for a very long time.

Graduation is in 64 days away. Yay!

September 13, 2008

release.

Letting go really is easier than I thought.
But the fact that I haven’t had time to hang onto anything is a factor also.
I have stayed caught up on all of my reading and assignments for all of my classes,
and even had extra time to read Succulent Wild Woman by SARK.

This woman is phenomenal.
As I was reading, I dog-earred pages that I wanted to come back to,
to read again, to absolutely absorb the essence of that page.
When I was through, I had marked over 30 pages.
She just said everything that I have been feeling,
about being yourself and letting any hate or anger or bitterness or sadness go,
and if you can’t do that, at least try to.
She wrote about being wild and too much (not in a negative way, but a good way),
which sometimes I feel I am for some people, and embracing it.

I have been trying to do all of that,
holding nothing back and not apologizing for being just who I am.
In my mind, I’m moving on and growing up and expanding
and I have never felt better.

September 6, 2008

finally going right.

This week was a hectic one, with yearbook deadlines and such. Plus I wasn’t feeling the greatest.

But somehow I managed to get everything done (and on time!), plus schedule time to paint and write and go shooting. I don’t know how it has been working out this way, how with more classes and commitments than any other semester, I have time for myself that I never had before. It doesn’t make any sense, except for the fact that I have cut out procrastinating. For the most part anyway; I did spent this evening painting/collaging rather than doing homework that is waiting. But that’s okay. It’s the weekend, and I needed a break.

I always heard that art can relieve stress. I knew writing did because that way my outlet, but since I have been been painting, I am a believer. I will be the first to admit that I suck at painting. I couldn’t paint anything recognizable even if I really tried, but I am learning that creating doesn’t necessarily have to be pretty. It doesn’t have to be anything. I just enjoy doing it. I’ll probably throw half of it away, but it’s fun and relaxing. Maybe I’ll take a pic of the stupid little collage I am making, just so you guys and girls can see.

I may have finally found an internship that I can enjoy! It’s at the public library in the PR department and is pretty much everything I want. Books, PR, non-profit, kids, intelligent people. When I saw the application, I literally sighed a huge sigh because it just felt so right. I am going to ask Regina to help me complete all the forms and such. I normally would figure it all out on my own, but I want to make sure that I have a really good chance of clinching it. I really want it. I won’t know until December probably, but I am just going to hope.

Missing my writing? Well, me too. I need to spend some time being creative with words, but the focus is elsewhere right now. I need to pull it back apparently.

August 14, 2008

back to the grind.

As the days quickly pass and the dredge of schoolwork draws closer, I realize how much I am going to miss the time I spend every day in thought. Maybe that sounds silly, but a specific type of thought is what I am talking about. A type of thought where things matter and don’t come from a textbook. A type of thought where I can have opinions and don’t have to believe just the facts that are given to me. A type of thought where I can focus on me.

I’ll miss the time I spend with myself in the quiet, free to write and go out shooting with my camera.

And I’ll most definitely miss sleeping in.

August 12, 2008

I’m coming prepared this time.

Countdown to classes: 6 days.

I went earlier to the library and brought home 5 different books on stress management and finding inner peace, even when things in life are going absolutely haywire. I have a serious problem with stress, as anyone who has dealt with me during busy and overwhelming times can attest to.

Last semester, I literally felt like I was going to lose my mind. So much piled up on me and many different things were nearing deadlines at the same time, and that stress combined itself with the anxiety and complete fear I have of being less than mediocre. Needless to say, I was a mess by the beginning of May. And when I am a mess, I am not a fun person to be around.

It makes me angry. At myself for being a procrastinator (which is another area I’m actively working on), at others for being rude and frustrating, even when they aren’t meaning to be, and at my entire life situation. I know that there is a snowball effect for negative thinking and stress, but still it’s hard for me to concentrate on anything because I am always thinking about what is coming next and what the next big obstacle or project is going to be. When the stress turns into full-blown anxiety, then I worry. About my own sanity.

This semester, with an extra class than normal and the responsibilities for Student Publications, has stricken a bit of fear in me. I know I can accomplish the tasks, but the stress of doing so might finally drive me to the breaking point.

And at 23, I am not supposed to be worried about a nervous breakdown.

Reading is one of the relaxing activities I do, to take my mind off of the small things that make up the whole, to put myself in someone else’s life for a little while. So reading about how to relax, well, I am hoping it gives me some insight on life and learning to manage time and stress and emotions, all at the same time.

March 7, 2008

Feeling like a freak on a leash.

I need to refocus. I’ve been stressing too much about getting homework done, not spending enough time with Nick, internships, family, and life in general. I feel a bit like a muzzled mess, and tonight I am just going to curl up on my bed and read. My mind needs the relaxation, and my body needs to get prepared for a great “sister night” tomorrow that Darcy and I have planned.