Posts tagged ‘tired’

November 30, 2011

just a minute, now.

I found some time. Down time for myself before bed and decided to start a quick book I had downloaded on my Kindle.

Mistake. I was awake until almost 2 in the morning reading. It wasn’t a particularly good book, nothing I couldn’t have waited for, but I laid there and read until I heard the clock only ring twice on the hour. I could easily have kept going, but I knew it would be a long day running on only 4 hours of sleep. Barely enough to function.

I realized I do this a lot when I am stressed out about something, anything really. I read. And read some more. I suppose it gets me away from my own thoughts and complaints for a while and lets me get a few hours of relief. I love that feeling of not worrying about anything else.

So yes, it was a tired day. By lunch I was starving (I don’t eat much when I’m stressed either) and exhausted, but I managed to get a lot of work done too. I have weird energy on days of little sleep sometimes. I was physically tired but mentally I don’t know how that works.

Now I’ve started Shanghai Girls by Lisa See, one of the books on my list and am looking forward to it. I always imagine the most beautiful people in her books. Love that. And did you know Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is being adapted to the big screen?! Yes!

July 6, 2011

break time.

Remember me saying that things were going to be busy? Well, I underestimated the busy-ness by about 10 times.

Besides the family reunion, work has been go-go-go for the past week or so. A manager secured a new job with another company so some of her responsibilities have come to me. I’m not complaining. It is good job security and a little bit of a raise, but I’m just exhausted. 3 days of training is not quite enough to be confident, and since it’s the first of the month, all the reports are due. With some stress (and a million questions to other managers), I finished them up and sent them off to the HQ in England.

Hey, maybe if they’re all good, I’ll still have a job tomorrow!

Even with everything going on, I’m trying to keep up here. I’ll apologize now, in case that plan doesn’t work out!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic summer!

May 23, 2011

my day went something like this.

+ wake up
+ be grumpy
+ get ready/go to work
+ catch-up with sister
+ work my tail off til my late lunch
+ plan tomorrow’s blog
+ finish voiceover for our wrap and pack training video
+ relief about video being done
+ run around delivering work to people
+ come home
+ dinner
+ read
+ blog (now!)
+ sleep (next!)

Tags: ,
January 19, 2011

so sick of it.

I need a change. I don’t know what yet, but a little voice inside me is crying for something new. New hair color? New scenery? New people? I’m not sure.

Maybe I just need something so that I don’t stir crazy in this cold, crazy weather. I tend to get antsy if I’m in the same situation for too long, and for the past 5 months, it has basically been wake up, go to work, come home, sleep. Every day. Definitely, there needs to be a change.

I am going to Kansas City tomorrow for an appointment, and then maybe some sight-seeing. If i don’t freeze my fingers off, I’ll find something worth photographing. We’ll see how that goes.

Happy Wednesday!

December 21, 2010

pillow, please?

Wow, I have been slacking, mostly because I feel like somehow has drained every shred of energy out of my body with a syringe or something. I had to drink an energy drink yesterday, and I never do that.

Work is busy, then slow, then busy, then super slow. It never seems to find a middle ground at all. I have been helping design a logo and templates for newsletters, which are turning out rather well, although we decided to completely change the logo today and go for something different. Tomorrow, I’ll be starting over. I don’t mind; designing is more like fun than work. I can cross the logo off my 25 list too.

I did manage to get the presents done for my nieces and nephews though. I’m not going to say what is inside, of course, but I’m pretty sure that they’ll like it. I use jewelry kraft boxes that I bought way back in the summer. They worked perfectly for what I was trying to accomplish. Then I used red and silver chipboard letters and white yarn to make them pretty.

I can’t wait until Christmas!

December 2, 2010

I meant to get pictures of my new office, but dang it, it has been so busy at work! Month-end reports, audits, corrective actions, plus a million other things. I’ll get some next week hopefully.

My new Kindle is on its way. I’m so excited! Now, let me assure you, I love paperback books. I love that I can dog-ear pages that I want to come back to. I love feeling accomplished when I can see my bookmark getting closer and closer to the back. Paperback books are so cumbersome though. I don’t have the energy to lug one around all the places that I want to go. And I am prone to papercuts ALL the time. It’s a gift to get a papercut in the oddest (and most sensitive) places on my hands. I hate that. I told my mom to NOT get me a Kindle because I was buying one myself. She laughed and said she was surprised it took me this long. :)

No other news. This week has been seriously exhausting.

Chiefs game on Sunday!! (Oooh yes, get ready Denver!)

Tags: , , ,
October 1, 2010

fighting sleep.

It’s this kind of night. I’m too tired to go out, too lazy to get pretty, but still too awake to sleep as hard and long as I want to. Tea and writing. It’s just that kind of night.

The weekend is going to be relaxing. Sleep, sunshine, photo shoots, and football. Maybe an afternoon at Barnes & Noble. I need some quiet and a new Moleskine before next week starts. I’ll be on my own doing quality work. No more training. Mandy will be there, but she’ll be in the next office doing Brent’s job since he’ll be on vacation. I’m excited to prove I know what I’m doing.

September 18, 2010

just a reminder.

I’m not sad and lonely (all the time, ha), and I don’t always write about myself or my own relationships. Sometimes those poems that I post aren’t about me or my life at all. I see people around me, my friends, family, coworkers, peers, going through things too, and I put myself in their shoes. Or try to anyway.

I ask myself what I would feel if it were me going through the same thing, and that’s where some of the poetry comes from. I’m not constantly heartbroken, believe it or not.

In fact, I am sort of at a stand still on words lately, from my life or anyone else’s life. When things get busy, I don’t have the time or energy to put into writing. It may be different for others, but, for me, it takes energy.

So you’ll see some writing, but it will probably be sporadic. When I don’t have work or something scheduled every single day, more will come here.

Don’t give up on me til then!

September 10, 2010

raelyn and i.

Isn’t she sweet?

I don’t get to see the girls everyday like I am used to since I started my 8-5 job. I miss the little farts, and amazingly they miss me too. It’s kind of funny to see them run to me when they see me. I love that part at least.

Tags: , ,
March 30, 2010


I’m still here. Exhausted and stressed and worried about things, but here nonetheless.

I won’t go all into it (because there are just some things that aren’t entirely mine to tell to the world), but I’ll just say that I have been going from angry to sad to worried to sick-to-my-stomach with paranoia to scared for about the past 2 weeks about my brother. It’s a worrisome thing when someone who you love feels no self-worth and doesn’t really care about the things he should care about.

I’m hoping that this gets better soon. The stress had mangled our family at first, and everyone was lashing out at each other. But I think where there was tension at first is now a collective understanding among everyone that he isn’t going to get better without help and time.

More sunny days are on their way, and I hope it somehow cheers everyone up a little bit.

Tags: ,
March 16, 2009

thrifting on a good day.

I don’t know what it is about days like today, but they just have a way of dissipating all of the bad things that are going on. Really, things that are going on aren’t exactly bad, just aggravating and annoying and slightly worrisome. I won’t go all into it, mostly because I don’t want to get riled up again.

But the sunshine and warm weather just melted away anything that I might be upset about. Plus I went to the thrift store and found some amazing mason jars with handles! They remind me of being a kid and drinking lemonade in the summer. Finding a set of 5 (4 matching and 1 oddball one) was the highlight of my day. No joke. And they were only 99 cents a piece!

I don’t usually like thrift stores at all, but lately I have found some good (old vintageish) stuff that is so cool. Some of the things I have found I plan on re-doing and making it completely different than what it is now. For instance, an old tv tray I found with this weird design is gonna be a calender, with magnet numbers so it can be changed every month. I don’t have the time to finish that project, but as soon as I have a chance, I want to get it done.

Some of the furniture they have at the thrift store (we have a few in town, but one is closer than the rest) is neat too, and I have had some ideas of things I could spice it up. I don’t want brand new furniture when I move. I want my place to look mismatched and cozy and vintage, like I live a “simple” life. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but the vision in my head makes sense (I feel like I have said this before here, lol). It’s going to be a work in progress, but I think it will be what makes my home unique.

Tomorrow is going to be nice too, and although I have to work, which means being in the basement of TSCPL for 7-8 hours, I plan on doing something creative after work. Maybe painting, maybe I’ll finishing the felt matting for Lindsay’s sonogram picture, or something else, but I need an outlet for the frustrations I have felt since Saturday. I am learning that working it out creatively makes me feel much better than screaming at someone or crying.

It’s way prettier too.

January 7, 2009

Found it.

So I’m exhausted.

Waking up at 6 a.m. and having to be at work by 8 a.m. severely sucks.  Just take my word for it.

But if your job is as great as mine is (technically it’s an internship, I know.  But job is easier to type and say) then it’s not too big of a problem.  I went in at 8 yesterday morning, expecting an orientation and “shadowing” day.  That’s not what happened.  By 9:15 a.m., I had a project thrown to me, to take total design/content control over.  I seriously had to swallow a lump in my throat because I was so nervous.  I think the fear of messing it up on the first day was overwhelming at first, but after a bit I figured out just what I was going to do with my booklet and I eased up.

My cubicle is so cute.  I know, I am a huge nerd, but that’s fine with me.  Diana and I went to central supply and toted all kinds of goodies up for me to use.  I never knew office supplies could be so fun.  Plus I have my own badge, TSCPL email, voicemail, and soon a brand-new G5 Mac to use.

I took some pictures today, but they all turned out really blurry because I was trying to be quiet so I was taking pictures without a flash (4 other people are working  in my area).  So maybe I’ll try again tomorrow or next Tuesday.

For now, I am going to bed.  Lots to do tomorrow too.  I am going to fill out the application for a degree at school.  Yay.  Yearbook stories are also waiting.

October 14, 2008

hold up.

I am exhausted and in the matter of 24 hours or so, my life has gotten a whole lot more stressful. Yearbook stories aren’t working out, and are actually becoming more of a pain in the rear than I even wanted them to be. Honestly, I am kind of sick of it. I am going to get through this semester, and then see what happens. I might not be able to handle the frustration that it brings. I don’t like for Shalyn and Kori to be waiting on me to finish things before they can do their job. And I can’t finish the stories if people won’t call me back. Plus I have about a gazillion other things to do on top on yearbook. Seriously, I wanna rip someone’s head off.

August 20, 2008

in lines of 3.

I’ve been exhausted. Utterly bitchy and tired every moment of the past few days.
I don’t like it, and I’m sure nobody else does either.
A doc visit might be in order though.

Being “boyless” kinda sucks, but I’m dealing fine.
After all, this is what I wanted, right?
Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself too.

School is back in the swing of it. Half the reason for the exhaustion and crabbiness.
I underestimated the amount of reading that 5 classes would involve.
So tomorrow will be a day spent at the library, reading and doing quizzes.

I’ve been taking my camera with me everywhere.
It seemed like every time I didn’t have it, I found something awesome to snap.
I’m not taking any more chances like that.

That’s about it, I guess.
It’ll take a few more weeks before college rips my sanity from me,
so you can still expect some posts in the future days.


May 6, 2008

Studying hard or hardly studying.

As I am taking a break from reading the most boring shit in history about history, I’ll give this a quick update.

I haven’t had much to write about lately.  Well, actually, that’s a lie.  I have things to spew about, but I don’t have the time or the energy to sit here and type them out.  I spent much of the weekend out with friends, and needless to say, it wiped me out.  Papers, essays, and finals are upon me, and they have been occupying much of my mind.  In a way, I can’t complain.  It keeps me busy, and busy is good.  But busy also takes away precious time that I could be spending with my people.  I sit here studying and sometimes wonder where the time is going.  I mean, it’s nearly 11 p.m., and just 10 minutes ago it seems, I was sitting here watching Jason Castro completely murder a perfectly good Bob Dylan song.  That was almost 4 hours ago!

I can’t wait until next week, when finally I’ll have a chance to breathe.